Spencer Lowe, just another girl on the streets.
Demi Lovato, just another popstar on a stage.
Demi has a secret no one but her family and Joe Jonas know,
Spencer has a secret that no one but herself knows, both will shock the people around them.
Is...
"Did you have fun with dad?" I asked holding Colby's hand as we walked to the car.
"Yeah" Colby spoke, ending his sentence short.
"What did you do?" I questioned him, wanting to see if we could hold a conversation.
I helped him in the car as he spoke up to me.
"Hung out" He smirked, knowing I wanted more.
"Colby Joseph" I scolded, clipping him into the seat.
"What?" Colby smiled innocently. I gave him a look, before shutting the car door.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I got in the car, driving home. The first thing Colby told me, made my spine quake.
"You should meet sophie mom" Colby suggested and I could feel my skin crawl.
Not only, was that the first time he called me "mom" instead of "mommy", but he suggested me meeting his father's girlfriend.
"Did your daddy put you up to this?" I asked, glancing that the rear view mirror to see his face.
"No" Colby spoke immediately and I could feel his gaze staying on me as I drove.
"Then why do you ask?" I pondered, seeing we were stuck in traffic.
"Because it would be fun if we could play together" He smiled and I felt my heart flutter and shatter all at the same time.
"Baby, mommy doesn't know how to feel about Sophie" I told him truthfully, seeing no need to lie to my child; seeing how he would just wonder this later in his life as to why his mom and dad have issues.
"Why not mommy?" My son's voice sounded so sad. I didn't know what to do, to make my almost 5 year old son understand what his 24 year old mother was thinking.
I did not know what to say to him, for him to get what I think.
I sat there in the silence, stuck in traffic for about 5 minuets, thinking about what the hell I was going to say to my 4 year old son.
I decided to do what I told myself I'd always do.
Just be honest.
"Colby, mommy doesn't know what to say, to get you to understand what momma's dumb brain is thinking about. Y'know how when the playroom is a mess? And mommy asks you to help clean it up?" I asked, figuring out the best way to explain myself to my son.
"Yeah. You say more hand's make the job quicker" He beamed, a proud smile on his face.
"That's right Colby!" I praised, sending him a smile when I saw him looking at me.
"Mommy's brain is like the playroom. Image my head, the floor, and my thoughts all your legos. Mommy doesn't have enough hand's to pick up all the legos all at once, so mommy's legos are till on the playroom floor, slowly picking them all up" I was trying my best to explain myself, but I feel like I made it more confusing.
"You need more hands?" Colby asked, sounding confused.
I sighed, starting to feel frustrated.
"No Colby" I took a deep breath, seeing the traffic start to move again.
"I'm confused" He mumbled and I was tapping my finger tips against the wheel.
"Me too baby, me too" I pouted.
It was silent for a few minuets before Colby spoke up again.
"Mommy? What can I do to make you meet Sophie?" Colby asked and I sighed.
Can't he just let it go?
"Baby, mommy doesn't want to meet Sophie. Okay?" I sighed, glancing out the window, seeing we weren't far from home.
"Why not?" He pouted, giving me a look.
"Because mommy isn't ready to" I spoke louder, hoping he'd stop asking me about it.
"Why not mommy?" He pressed, a whine starting to break through his voice, starting to sound like me when I didn't get what I wanted.
"Can we not talk about this Colby?" I asked, not wanting to get angry.
"But why?" He whined and I could feel myself loosing it.
"Colby, I said enough okay? I don't want to talk about it. please stop" I sighed, turning into the neighborhood, leading up to the gated community.
"But mommy!" He whined, his whine going right through me.
"COLBY I SAID ENOUGH!" I snapped, and I saw his lower lip quiver and he shut his eyes.
Silence took over the car, and I took a some deep breath's.
Once we got home, I got out of the car, composing myself.
I walked over to the car door to get Colby out.
I opened the door and he wouldn't make eye contact.
I unbuckled him, not getting out of his eye for him to climb out, which made him look at me.
"Colby I'm so- Colby look at mommy. Colby! Look at mommy please" I begged.
He looked up at me, with glossy eyes.
"Baby, I'm sorry for snapping at you. Mommy has been stressed and mommy isn't to fond of Sophie. Okay? I'm working on accepting everything and getting use to all the changes, but you need to stop when I ask okay? I love you" I murmured, holding his chin in my hand.
He glanced down, before I made him look back up at me.
"Do you love me?" I asked, and he frowned.
"Colby, I'm sorry okay? I love you a lot baby boy. Please tell me you love me" I frowned, seeing my baby boy was upset at me.
"Love you" He mumbled, trying to push by me.
"You don't mean it" I pouted, my lips puckered as I tried to keep his attention.
"I CAN'T MEAN IT MOMMY! YOU YELLED AT ME!" He yelled and I was shocked that, that big voice came out of such a tiny man.
"Look who's yelling now" I smirked.
It was a odd sight to see him mad and upset at me.
It made me feel bad.
This moment, made me feel like a failure.
It wasn't that my child was upset at me.
It was the fact that, he told me he loved me, and he didn't mean it.
I somehow, did something, somewhere, to make my son, not love me.
