Life as a Secret *lesbian Story*

43

*Spencer's POV*

Demi arrived at my door, and I felt relived.

"Hey" I spoke up, letting her in.

I had to contain myself with the what she was wearing.

It was simple, yet looked so damn good on her.

I could feel my lower region wake up and I mentally groaned.

"Hey" She replied, bending over to unzip her shoes, giving me a good view down her shirt making me mentally scream.

She slipped out of her shoes, pulling up her skinny jeans before fixing her shirt.

"Sorry, just came from a meeting with my manger" She shrugged and I nodded. 

"Want anything to drink?" I asked, hobbling my way over towards the kitchen.

"I'm good, thanks. Where is Oliver?" She asked and I frowned.

"Doggy emergency center" I sighed, grabbing some milk from the fridge and pouring myself a small glass.

"I want to say sorry" I spoke up, sitting down at the  small dinging room table with my glass.

"Why? You said goodbye. You made your choice" She said, crossing her arms over her chest, pushing her boobs up.

Was she trying to drive me insane? 

"I made a damn mistakes!" I whined, wanting to have what I use to before I told her goodbye.

If I chose the other choice, I wonder where I'd be now. 

"You had a damn choice Spencer. You picked. Mistake or not, you made that choice" She snapped, taking me by surprise. 

"You can't tell me you've never made a mistake, and wish you could change it as time went on" I argued and Demi rolled her eyes.

"Yeah I have, and if I could Joe and I would hopefully be married right now" She said and my eyes widened. 

"YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM!" I shouted, flabbergasted by this new information. 

"Spencer, he was my first love. I'll always have feeling's for him" She sighed and I rolled my eyes, itching the back of my hand, running my finger tips over my knuckles, fidgeting instead of responding to her.

"Demi . . . I don't know what I'm doing" I admitted, and I saw her roll her eyes, making me confused.

"Clearly. Spencer, you need to have your life figured out, or atleast mostly figured out. I need you to have a plan of some sort, to make me feel secure if we ever had a relationship. I can't be in a puppy love, honey moon relationship forever. I have a son, a life, and career that all depends on a plan. Being with you is like a honeymoon, I need you to have a plan to fit in my life. I simply can't have you jump into my life and mess up everything I worked for, because we are in a puppy love stage in our relationship. At one point, I want to bunker down in my life, and have a marriage, a real one. A complete family. Spencer, I want that happiness everyone else has, the completeness. I gave you that option, because I think you might be what I need, to have happiness, to feel complete. But if you are going to be in puppy love for many more years, this won't work. I get you're still young, but I'm already 24, with a child and a complicated relationship. I want what I want, because what I want seems like happiness and all I want his happiness and I've always been happy with you. You being 22, I don't expect you to have a life plan, but to be in my life, I need to know you aren't just going to get up and walk away at one point, because if you meet Colby, and he gets attached to you and then you leave . . . not only are you crushing his world, but you're crushing mine because my whole life revolves around that little boy. You had a choice, and you said goodbye. You were not ready, and you knew you weren't. That is okay, I never expected you to be. You're still figuring it out, so am I . . . but I need a plan from whoever is going to be in my life, to have that security blanket, knowing one day  you're not gonna get fed up and just walk away, taking my world with you because he got attached to you. If you made the other choice, I'd need to work thing's out with you. You told me goodbye Spencer. You made that choice, and you made that choice for a reason. You need to stop pushing it, because if you don't know why you made that reason now, you will one day. I need a plan, you don't have a plan Spencer. Please, accept the choice you made, because you made it for a reason" Demi finished and I starred at her, shocked.

Plan?

What kind of life plan?

I'm 22, how am I suppose to have any kind of plan?

How does she have a plan? 

I felt really confused and I looked up at her.

"Demi, I may not have a plan right now, but I will figure on out eventfully.  Laying in that hospital bed, gave me a lot of time to think. I want you. I want your crazy life, I want to meet your son, I want everything that  has to do with you. I don't know how, and I don't know why. But you make me insane in every way, and I don't want to watch you walk away from me ever again. I want to try, I want to do this. I get, that you may not want me to meet your son, because I let you walk away once, and I might walk away, but I at least want to give us a try, head on. I want you, I want him, I want us. I can give you what you want, if you give me what I want, and maybe, we can find a happy medium." I confessed  full heartedly.

I watched her stare at me, and before I knew it, she was in front of me, slamming her lips into mine hard, before softening the kiss.

"I fucking love you" She breathed against my lips and I felt a big ass smile find it's way to my face as she kissed me again with so much passion and love. 

* * * *
Written on: 1 / 3 / 18

Published on: 1 / 3 / 18

Word count: 1075