Life as a Secret *lesbian Story*

47

*Spencer's POV*

I heard a knock at my door, opening it to see Safia.

I didn't have time to answer before she put Oliver in his crate and dragged me out the door. 

"HEY! HEY! HEY! CAREFUL! Someone in this hand holding drag scraping situation got a gunshot wound a week ago!" I grumbled, trying to pull my hand out of her grasp.

"Oh top a muffin" Safia huffed making me grunt.

"You know you can be a real bitch" I grumbled.

"I've been told that once or twice. Get in the damn car Spencer" She shoved me in, making me yelp.

She drove us to the hospital that was about 3 hours away, giving me way to much time to think.

When we got there, she dragged me in by my wrist inside. I mutter all sorts of cuss words. 

We got in, saying we were family which I mean . . . I guess that was true. 

We walked down the hall and I felt very anxious. When the nurse and Saf got to the door, I stood away from it, starring, knowing wait was behind that door.

"Saf, I don't want to" I frowned, wanting to leave this place as soon as possible. 

"Spencer, it's your damn family. Grow up and walk in there" Safia grouched, pulling me in literally. 

The second I entered the room, the aroma changed completely.

The awkwardness made itself known, everyone just stopped.

My dad was asleep . . . thank god.

My mom and I made eye contact and I had no idea what was going through her head, seeing me there.

She saw Safia, and got up to hug Saf and I felt envious of her. My mom hasn't hugged me let alone talked to me in years just because I was gay.

I wanted to run out of that room and never look back, but I had an emotion run through my veins that made me want to stay.

I wanted to be able to say what that emotion was, but I had no idea and that factor frustrated me.

"Spencer!" My little brother yelled, running up at me with open arms.

My 8 year old brother remembered me.

He was 5 when I left . . . he remembered me.

I squatted down to give him a hug, a weird feeling filled me up.

"Hey little man" I wrapped my arms around him, a feeling of relief coming over me. 

"Where have you been Spencer?" He asked, looking into my brown eyes as I looked into his.

I made eye contact with my mom, and sighed.

"I've been in school" I half lied.

Ryker looked up at me and shrugged, hugging me again.

I made eye contact with Ellie and my stomach dropped.

She seemed disgusted by me, mad at me, enraged and that was all I could just read off her face let alone what she was thinking.

I looked at Safia, trying to see if I could read anything off of her as I stood up.

I started to wonder how much of my family knew the thing's my parents did . . . and how they reacted or if they understood.

The first word spoken to me that wasn't my clueless eight year old brother was my mother, she caught me off guard.

"I'm glad you're here" 

It took me a hot minute to reply, but once I did I had no interpretation to explain how I was feeling, let alone how I was suppose to feel.

What is a young adult girl suppose to feel, being with her family that kicked her out 4 years ago?

"You are?" I was shocked, expecting her to kick me out of the room, not wanting to ever see me since I was a disappoint.

What surprised me even more, is she stood up, walked over to me, looked me dead in the eye and pulled me into a tight hug that felt full of love. 

I felt like crying, feeling the love of my mother in a hug that I haven't felt since I was in high school. 

I started sobbing uncontrollably just because for once in my life, I felt accepted, loved and wanted. 

"Shh, Spencer" My mom hushed, wrapping her arms around me more, giving me small squeeze.

I sobbed in her arms, the feeling of protecting coming back to me and the overwhelming feeling of emotions over took me, making it hard for me to breath.

I felt a mini panic rush through me not knowing what to do with all the emotions I was feeling. 

When my mother pulled away, she tried to calm me down but for some reason, I wasn't able to and it just got worse.

I person appeared into my head, and thinking about her made me calm down enough to gasp out some words.

I reached for my phone, and quickly opened my texts with Demi, hitting the facetime button.

I prayed to god that she would answer, because I knew hearing her voice would calm me down, the feeling of comfort and love. Happiness even would come to me in a good way, instead of overwhelming me.

The second her face came onto screen, I took a deep breath.

"Hey, what's up? Where are you?" Demi questioned, clearly looking at my surroundings.

I was unable to speak, cowering in towards myself.

The room became deafeningly quiet, a loud buzzing in my ear as my mind went black and before I knew it, I had passed out from an over run of emotion.
* * * *
Im still catching myself writing 17 😬
Written on: 1 / 9 / 18  &  1 / 10 / 18

Published on: 1 / 16 / 18

Word Count: 946