[1] Not Yours | kth ✓

12 | how to love

TO: kim.taehyung
SUBJECT: how to love

tae,

i had been terrified about going to jin's birthday celebration, because i knew you and your girlfriend would be there. controlling myself at the sight of you two was going to be difficult, nearly an impossible task to do since i knew i still loved you to some degree.

but jimin spilled the news today. i could tell he was hesitant to say anything considering our past. if i had been in his position, i don't think i would have done the same, because now that i know that you're no longer with her, there's a part of me that wants to be with you.

what i hadn't expected was jimin's proposal for us to also break up. i guess i wasn't as good at acting as i thought, because he saw right through me. he could see that i still had feelings for you.

he knew it this whole time but despite that knowledge, he deepened our relationship, because he said he wanted to know what it was like to finally be with someone who knew how to love.

apologizing to him for everything didn't seem enough with all that i put him through, but he told me it wasn't my fault, that he had done it to himself. it breaks my heart because i never should've played with his to begin with.

when we came to the decision to no longer be together, jimin asked if i could still go with him to the party. i didn't want to because i didn't want to see you, but i decided to give him one more night with me. it only seemed fair.

but when he held my hand, and i saw pain glass over your eyes, i knew i shouldn't have.

dahee

saved as a draft
decemeber 4
22:04