[1] Not Yours | kth ✓

15 | okay

TO: kim.taehyung
SUBJECT: okay

tae,

i hate how this has become a regular thing - me emailing you.

when i first began, all i remember was sadness. i remember this unbearable pain of my heart being torn to shreds, but i had no outlet, no friends to vent to. the one i had you took from me, so instead i wrote to you for comfort.

after a while, the sorrow morphed into anger. i was angry with you for hurting me. at the time it seemed you did it intentionally, and all i wanted to do was yell at you and scream your name to the point where my throat was raw. but i couldn't so instead I wrote to you in frustration.

then i felt nothing, just emptiness that i know can and will be filled with my growth and my love for other things.

i've realized that during our time together, i only ever focused on you and your passions. i'm spending so much more time on me and my dreams now that i've slowly begun to place love for myself in the void - a place you occupied.

i don't think i would've been able to heal as quickly or do any of this without jimin. when we were together, he opened my eyes to several concepts that, up until then, i had closed myself off to.

and even though i'm still getting used to you gone, i think i'm past all the stages of our break up.

i'm finally okay.

dahee

saved as a draft
december 13
01:22