adulation | l.h.

Five

Luke's POV

"I bet she thinks your trying to kill her." Calum said. "Why?" I asked. "I walked by mrs Holly's room. You were hardcore staring at her." He said. "Most girls take that as flirting, Cal." I rolled my eyes. "She's not a normal girl." He said. "True." I shrugged.

She defiantly was different.

"Do you like her?" He asked. "I don't know...I tried to make a move on her yesterday." I said, crossing my arms. "Stubborn?" He picked up his greasy pizza, taking a bite. "More like smart enough to tell me no. But I can say that it's different." I said. "What's different?" He put air quotes around "different". "Girls don't usually reject me." I shrugged. "You sound like such a douche right now." He laughed. "Deeply appreciated." I smiled.

Ashki's POV

He almost kissed me.

He almost kissed me.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I should've known he just wanted dancing lessons just to try and do that, or if he even wanted to do "something else"...

God, why did I give him my trust so easily?

For once, I don't want to go to the dance studio tonight.

•

"Ok, now that you have the basic waltz rules down, add some rhythm." I said. I took his hand again, but quicker than last time.

"Don't let him take advantage of you." I kept repeating in my mind. I lead his other hand to my waist, and he looked up at me with sympathetic eyes.

Now he gets the message.

I held his hand, and put my other on his shoulder, just like on Tuesday. "Ashki, about...yesterday, I wanted to apologize." He said before the song restarted. "I shouldn't done that, I know you feel uncomfortable." He sighed. "I won't do it again." He swore. I nodded, "It's fine. And I'm not uncomfortable, this is just my demeanor," I said quietly. "Demeanor?" He asked. "Like...how I appear to people." I said. "You really are Einstein, aren't you?" He cocked his head as I started the movements we began two days ago. "I guess, but I prefer Ashki." I said. He smiled, and I blushed.

He looked at his feet, working hard on keeping his coordination. "Now add the rhythm." I said, glancing at my shoes, and back to his. I went on my tiptoes, and back down. On my tip toes, and back down. He followed, and bit his lip ring. "Hey," I said, looking at his clumsy feet. "You're getting the hang of it," I encouraged. "Really?" He asked, looking up. His eyes sparkled with light blue and curiosity. "Yeah." I sighed.

"I want to get to know you better." He said, messing with his lip ring again. "You do?" I asked skeptically. "Yeah...you seem pretty interesting." He shrugged. "Is that the reason you stare at me in Geometry?" I blurted. I immediately wanted to apologize, but his blush stopped me.

He ducked his head, and looked back up at me, grinning. He didn't look me in the eye when he said, "That's part of it." I bit my lip. "What's the other reason?" I asked. "You may have to find that out later." He looked down at me from his tall frame.

"So...what's your favorite subject?" He asked. "English. I love to write, and read, and learn new words. It's like an adrenaline rush for me kinda, since I'm not that thrill-seeking." I said. "I'll have to take you on a roller coaster sometime." He said. "What about you?" I asked. "Geometry is really the only thing I'm good at." He shrugged. We moved to the rhythm of Coldplay as it stopped sadly. I picked up my bag, "Wait," he stopped me. "Can you stay for a while?" He asked. "I don't know, my brother..." I trailed off. "Come on, Ash. I'm bored. Please?" He asked. I sighed, "I have to go." I said, and pretended to look at my phone, acting like I had gotten a text. "Okay," he bought it. "Guitar lessons tomorrow?" He asked. I hesitated, but nodded. "Bye Ashki" he left the dance studio.

Psychomanteum, otherwise known as one of my my biggest fears.

I interpreted it a bit to fit my perspective on it. It's the fear of looking in a mirror, and your reflection changing somehow. Like if your in the dark, your own reflection might turn into a monster, or something unnatural.

Although, since I've learned about the fear, I always thought it made more sense to be in the light.

Sometimes, I see myself as a threat to my own being, my own sanity. Calling myself names, telling myself no one will ever like me. Most of the time, my brother is embarrassed to admit that I was his sister.

I went through a self harm phase last year. That's why I don't talk much. I know people will judge me if they see the scars. So it's strictly sweaters or long sleeve shirts, and jeans. Anything that will cover my thighs and wrists.

I don't want anyone to see how weak I was, or am.

I don't want to look at my reflection, because sometimes if I look a bit too long, and I turn into what they've perceived me to be.

So I mostly avoid mirrors.

•

ok so this was a bit of background on Ashki. yas for double updates

*yas*

~emma