Girl Crush

Chapter 17

Time went by, songs were written and recorded, Jane and Harry grew closer every minute they spent together. The way she made him feel, he never felt before. Jane meant everything to Harry. When she was with him, he felt himself more relaxed, she could calm him down without saying a word. One smile or word would make him happy in an instant. He couldn't eat, sleep or even breathe without her, she was his life, she was the sun, the moon and all the stars. He knew what he felt was love, he was in love with her. He loved her with every cell of his body. He knew what he felt for her but he was afraid to admit it to her. He was scared if he would say it to her she wouldn't say it back, he was scared she would leave him if he admitted what he felt. If Jane started to talk about her feelings Harry tried to switch the subject or tried to seduce her into sex. His past relationships had affected Harry more than he realised.

It was their last week in Jamaica, all the songs were written and almost all of them were recorded. Just some finishing touches on a couple of them. Harry was proud of what they had accomplished, it was an album he would buy himself and never get tired of listening to.
Since it was the last week everything was extra laid back. They went out to dinner, had a little party, there was more time to spend at the pool and the beach. Harry enjoyed every minute of it but in the back of his head he always thought about his feelings for Jane and her feelings for him.
It was their penultimate night and Jane had a little surprise for Harry.
She had told him to come to the beach at 8 pm so now he was walking towards the beach, a little nervous because he didn't know what was going to happen.
He walked on the beach and in the distance he saw a fire in front of a tent and candles spread over the beach. He smiled when he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever known walking from behind the tent. She was wearing a white short summer dress. The dress swirled around her body, her hair was down, just how Harry liked it the most and she was barefoot. God she is beautiful he thought.
When Jane saw Harry walking towards her she revealed a big smile. Harry got really nervous now and in the back of his head there was this voice again telling him she was going to talk about her feelings and she would tell him she didn't feel the same. "She doesn't love you, she is playing you, a voice in his head said." Harry tried to push it away but he was scared for what was coming.
"Hi" Jane whispered shyly when Harry approached her. "Hi" Harry responded while he kissed her soft on the lips. "Jane, this is beautiful" he said. "Thanks, it isn't much and it isn't original but I just wanted some alone time with you before we go back home."
'It's perfect, I love it.' Harry looked in the tent and there was a blanket with cosy pillows. "Come sit" Jane said while she pulled Harry towards the tent. They sat down, Jane next to Harry so they could watch the fire and the sea. Jane took a bottle of wine and two glasses and poured some wine in them before giving one to Harry. They look at each other, Jane raised her glass "to the album" she said.
"You are quiet tonight, is everything okay?"
"Yes" Harry said "I was thinking about how much I enjoyed being with you 24/7. I don't want to go back to the real world. Here I can make music, do what I love the most without being recognised, just be Harry not Harry Styles the artist. I was here for almost three months and I've been recognised maybe 8 times by tourists. I love my fans, every single one of them, they made my career and I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for them. I don't mind taking a selfie with fans, giving an autograph and a hug. Sometimes I just want to be myself, not watching every step I take, go out and have fun, where nobody's watching or staring, no pictures or autographs. I haven't talked about social media yet. In the past I did post random things but there was so much hate towards me. People said I should not read these things but when I started I couldn't stop and it really hurt. After a while I couldn't handle it any more so I decided to take a step back. Now I only post promo stuff I try not to read hate but sometimes I do and it always get to me. And I know it isn't fair to the fans who love me, there are people who send me the most beautiful messages, some of them everyday but I don't read the most of them because I don't want to read the hate messages. I only try to spread love to help people be kind to one another. When I read these comments, I wonder what did I do wrong."
Jane sits on Harry's lap, her face towards him, a leg on each side of his lap, she kisses his lips. "You Harry Styles are an amazing artist. You are devoted to your fans and I know if you could you would talk to every single one of them, you would do anything for them but you can't. First of all there are so many and second people always want more.
Not everyone can love the same music and artists. I understand it is hard for you if people send hate but honestly it tells more about these people than about you.Harry, you as a human, you are the sweetest, the most kindest, honest, thoughtful, considerate, helpful person I know. You do nothing wrong, you are perfect but you are a public figure and some people are jealous or hateful, don't let it drag you down."
Jane pressed herself against Harry's chest and brushed her nose against his. "To me you are perfect, you make me the happiest woman on earth. I can't imagine my life without you, I want a future with you." She crashes her lips against Harry's before she takes his hands and walks to the candles. The candles stand in the form of characters, Harry gasps for air as he sees what is written and really start to panic. Jane takes a step closer, her hands are on his chest, their eyes are locked. "It's written in the sand, I love you Harry, I love you with my whole body and soul. You are everything to me and I want my future to be with you." Harry froze, his heart is pounding and his thoughts are all over the place. "Tell her" a voice screams in his head, "tell her you love her" but then there is this other voice, "don't say it Harry, she doesn't mean it, she doesn't love you, nobody does."
Jane is watching with fear in her eyes, "please say something Harry" she whispers.
Harry can't handle it anymore, he has to get away and clear his mind. He does something he didn't expect himself to do, he turns around and walks away.
"Harry" he hears Jane scream, her voice filled with tears. But Harry keeps running.
I have to get out, I can't handle it he thinks, she can't love me, she thinks she does and she is going to realise it soon and I am going to end up alone. He runs in the house to Jeff's room, "Jeff please get me a plane, I have to go."
"But Harry, what is going on" he asks. "No questions, do your job and get me a fucking plane NOW." "Okay, okay mister superstar" Jeff bubbles. Harry walks to his room and starts packing.
After a while, Jeff walks in and tells him the plane will be ready in 90 minutes and there is a car and driver ready when he is. "If you want to talk I'm here for you" Jeff said. Harry ignored him. He walks to the studio to pick up some of his belongings.
He walked in but froze when he saw Jane. She was in the studio on the floor and she was crying and Harry's heart broke. See what you have done, you stupid dick he cursed himself internal Jane looked up at him, "Harry what's wrong, what are you doing? Please talk to me" Jane asked.
"I have to go" was the only thing he could react. He took his guitar and walked out while he heard Jane crying.
He was ready to leave when Jeff and Alex came up to him. "Harry, let us talk first. What happened?" Alex asked confused. "No leave me alone" Harry said.
"Safe travels, we'll see each other soon" Jeff said. Harry nodded, "bye" he said before he got in the car.
"Alex, please take care of her and tell her I'm sorry" harry asked. Alex knew about who he was talking without asking. But before Alex could respond Harry closed the door and the car took off.
Away from Jamaica, away from his feelings, away from his fears and away from Jane, the woman he loved. Tears streamed down his cheeks.
What have I done he thought.

A/N: Second update, I hope you like it?!
Please vote and comment.
Lots of Love
M.