Girl Crush

Chapter 18

Harry was back at his house in London, he got home yesterday. Jeff, Alex, his mum, they all called him but he didn't pick up the phone, he didn't want to talk to anybody. Harry felt horrible for what he did. He was so scared to admit what he felt for Jane, so scared to get hurt but now he did to Jane what he didn't want to happen to him.
Harry was in bed since he got home. He didn't want to get up. He felt drained, physically and emotionally. Jane was everything he ever dreamed and wanted in a women and now he walked over her, he hurt her in the most despicable way. He knew how it felt when you told someone you loved them and they didn't say it back, above that he also ran away from her without a word. Not only from her, he also left the people who he was working with. He could finish the album in L.A. but it didn't feel right, him leaving without a word. He thought he was a fuck up and he didn't deserve Jane, it was better to forget her. "She is better off without me" he said to himself but there was this little voice in his head that said he couldn't run from something real, something right. 

Days went by and Harry was in his bed or on the couch crying and feeling sorry for himself. He still didn't answer the calls he got, he only texted Jeff. He only wanted to be alone, it's what he thinks he deserved.
He was watching a movie in his bed when he heard someone at the door. The gate was closed so everybody had to use the bell at the gate. Harry walked downstairs, holding his breath when he heard someone come inside.
"Harry, Harry, it's me mum!"
Harry breathed relieved, he forgot his mum had the gate code and a key to the house. He went downstairs andwas happy to see his mum.
"Hi mummy" he said when he walked to her and hugged her tight. When Anne saw her son she was shocked. He didn't look good, he was pale, lost weight, had bags under his eyes, he didn't shave in a couple of days.
"Sweetheart you didn't answer your phone in days so I was worried and now I see you I get more worried, you don't look good. Whats wrong?" Harry looked at his mum and start to cry. Anne took her son in her arms and let him break down.
"I messed up so bad mum" he whispered sobbing. "It will be okay, we will work it out" Anne said while she was holding Harry tight. After awhile they moved to the couch. "I'm going to make us some tea and after I want you to tell me everything, no excuses."
Harry nodded and Anne disappeared into the kitchen. Was he going to tell everything to his mum, he didn't want to tell how he fucked it up badly. She was going to be mad, the way he acted is not how he was raised.
After a while Anne came back with two cups of tea, she set them at the little table in front of the couch. "Now son, talk" Anne commands after she takes a seat next to Harry.
Harry didn't want to talk about it but he knew it was for the better. He knew his mum was going to be disappointed at him but maybe she could help him. He told her everything, from how they met, how Jane ran from him because she was scared to the way they made things right again, the fantastic time in Jamaica and the way he fucked things up by being a coward.
"I don't deserve her" Harry ended his story. "Ow Harry" anne sighed, "don't say things like that." "I'm sorry mum, I know you are disappointed and mad for the way I treated her. I know you taught me to treat people with kindness and respect and I really do my best. I'm so sorry for fucking it up with the love of my life." Tears were forming in Harry's eyes.
"Harry I'm not mad or upset, I'm even not disappointed. You are only human, people make mistakes. You got scared and you took the safe way, you ran. It was wrong but it's happened. And you do deserve her, everybody deserves to be loved. The only important thing is to make it up to her. But only if you are sure you love her too. You have to be hundred percent sure you love her and want to be with her. You have to be sure you are ready to admit this to her, to tell her how you feel and no running."
"I love her, I really do, she is the woman of my life, I don't need kids if she can't give them, I don't need music or fame, I would give up everything for her. I only want her!" Harry put his head in his hands and cried, he let it all out.
"Oh my little boy, it will all be okay" Anne whispers. "Let all your emotions out now, you will feel better." Anne hugs Harry before he lays his head on her shoulder while he is still sobbing.
After some time, Anne looks at Harry and sees he is sleeping in her lap, she laughs thinking about how he always laid in her lap like this when he was a little boy. She helps him lay down on the couch and pulled a blanket on him. She walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge to get a drink and shakes her head when she sees the fridge is empty. She is worried about Harry, he is a mess. He loves this woman so much but he is so scared. Past relationships gave him big scares and she could only hope they would heal because if they won't her son would become a lonely man.

Harry wakes up with delicious smells coming out of the kitchen. He rubs his eyes and gets up, curious what his mother is doing. When he walks in he sees his mum stirring the pots and chopping vegetables. "Are we having a diner party" Harry laughs.
"No Harry, this is all for you" she answers giving him a stern look. "When I opened your fridge I saw it was empty. You are home a couple of days and your fridge is empty. There are no boxes from take out to be found so I know you didn't eat."
"I did eat" Harry grinned, "I ate cookies and ice cream."
"HARRY EDWARD STYLES cookies and ice cream aren't food! I know you are hurting but you have to take care of yourself, you have to eat healthy. I went to the supermarket and now I'm cooking meals you like and I will put them in the freezer so when I'm back home you just have to heat it. And just so you know, I'm staying a couple of days."
Harry walks to Anne, "Thanks mummy" he says and he gives her a kiss. "Of course Harry, I just want you to be happy and healthy. Now get ready for dinner, we eat in ten minutes."
Harry walks to the bathroom to splash some water in his face and wash his hands.
When he sees his face in the mirror, he signs. His mum is right, he has to take better care of himself. He wants a future with Jane but to have a future he has to deal with his past. He has to heal from what previous relationships did to him. He needs to make an apology to Jane and let her know he loves her, wants to work on his issues and wants a future with her.
He just needs to think about how he's going to do it...

AN: Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it?
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Lots of love
M.