Things started to get worst. Especially the moment I started to have my first time boyfriend. I choose him over my best friends. Well, his a sweet suitor.
At first.
That’s what I thought.
He changed the moment we started our relatioship. There come a times that we always fight for almost the whole one month. And he even forgot our monthsarry. Well, I would accept the fact that he forgot it but my birthday? Hell!
Well, each months passed and our relatioship started to sink like a ship. Well, his not hurting me physically, but he is a demon slashing you emotionally. That moment I started to cut myself using blades. I know I sound like an emo, but I hurt myself for me not to cry. I know it sounded like a shit whether I explain it further but yahh, I cut my self in my wrist, in my hips, in my arms.
No one knows my suffering in this world. I don’t have my best friends anymore. I started to hate myself. I keep on blaming my self.
Until one night, after that fight we have over the phone. I cant hold my tears anymore. I cried that night, I cried my heart out just for that piece of shit. I feel a sleep with tears in my eyes.
started to smell sulfur, a burning sulfur, I could hear loud cries for help, I could feel the pain in my foot. I could feel the heat that’s burning in my skin. I slowly opened my eyes.
“M-M-My fo-foot”, I told slowly. Swallowing my saliva.
I looked around. Up and down. Except my back.
I look up and I could see a sea wave of people in different ages, different races, different colors, boys, girls, ladies, gentlemens in different attires, different hats walking in that stone medieval bridge.
I close my eyes again and open it again hoping it will change the scene, just what Gabriel told me to do.
But the scene didn’t change.
I looked again in my foot, its full of blood. I trace where this fence will end. I’m literally walking and stepping those stainless fence that has a spade shape on top of it just under the bridge.
“Wh—what I’m doing here?”, I asked.
“I told you, before you sleep don’t let those bad experience invades your system for they will brought you on this dangerous part or worst in hell”, Gabriel told me.
“How will I escape?’, I aske dhim again.
“You have to reach the end of this fence”, he answered back.
“Reach the end? But it hurts my foot”, I answered back.
“You just have to think it doesn’t hurt. You can feel because your thinking the feeling. But if you just clear your thoughts, it will be easy”, Gabriel explained to me as if its just a simple one two three steps.
“Can we just fly?”, I suggested.
“As much I wanted to, but sorry I cant. See those waves of humans spirit there? If we will fly they will see us and there will be a great havoc in the entrance of this hell. There life were already written in the book of life, that’s there destiny”
I looked again at those people. They seems excited on what the path will lead them.
“Yes. They been given a chance but they wasted it. They will deal with the demons and they will there slave forever. They will be judge according to what they have done in there human life”, he explained again.
Yes, he is correct if I will clear my thoughts this will not be painful. I again observed my sorroundings. I could see a black lake beneath this fences. It’s black but I don’t know why I could see the apperance of those people above me. I could also see the entrance of the hell, base on my peripheral vision and base on the reflection in the lake.
Hell’s gate is like a cone of the volcano which is being lay down on its half open mouth. I could see some black smoke around it, and a demons and goblins guarding the entrance. Only its outside apperance I could see, because the center of that is full of color black.
“How do I came here?”, I asked Gabriel.
“Your emotions brought you here. Your feelings. Your deepest anger for yourself, those elements brought you here. And because I’m your guide, its my responsible to guide you out of this place”, his voice were full of concern.
I could almost see the end of that bridge, when I feel his hands touching my elbow. He is very much gentle guiding me out of that fence. I looked up again, and still there are lots of those spirit still walking on that bridge.
I finally landed my foot on the grassy land, and I could feel the cold wind breeze embracing me. I smile.
“Just always smile. I hate it seeing you crying and cutting your self just for that guy”, he told me.
I stop on what he told me. I wish I could look at him, touch his face and cuddle him. But I cant its against the rules his mentioning.
“Gabriel how I wish you’re a human and not an angel. I wish I could touch you see your face and cry on your shulder. I wish, I ----“, I cant finished what I wanted to say to him. And them again tears fell on my eyes down to my cheecks. The moment I blink my eyes..
I’m back at my room, looking far at my window.
“I wish you were here”, I whisper in the air and started to cry again
