TOXIC ~ STEVE ROGERS [1]

Chapter Thirty-Four

It took a week to finish debriefing, half of which I was confined to a cell.

I was interrogated again and again and again, with and without lie detectors strapped to me.

Everything I had done, every agent I had killed, laid out plainly in front of me. Every name ripping another hole in my soul. When I screamed for them to let me go they finally listened.

I was cleared and sent back to Fury for him to deal with me.

All of us were debriefed. Loki was in confinement, safe on board the helicarrier with more security than I could imagine. And Thor, watching over him like a hawk.

I sat in my small room on board, a glass screen in from of me. The door was open. I didn't want to close it. I didn't want to feel trapped. Not again.

The news channels were still broadcasting even now, a week and a half later. Footage of us fighting these aliens had gone viral around the globe. Everyone wanted to see more of 'Earth's Mightest Heroes.' That's what they were calling us. But not everyone seemed to think we saved the city. Many people believed the destruction of New York was our fault entirely.

"The so called 'Avengers' are being dubbed the most powerful people alive. But the woman the public have named 'Toxin', seems to be the only one we can't put a face to. The woman with green eyes and black suit wears a mask to hide her identity. How can we know shes on our side? How can we know she's the good guy?" The news presenter went on.
I heard footsteps by the door.

"Toxin huh? That's not too bad. Could have been worse," Natasha stepped into the room and sat on the end of my bed. I turned off the screen and looked at her.

"Yeah it could have been worse," I chuckled lightly.

"How are you?" She asked, suddenly serious. I shrugged.

"Honestly? I don't know," I fiddled with the hem of my t-shirt. I wasn't ok. Were any of us ok?

"I heard you watched the security footage from when Loki escaped the helicarrier," Natasha leaned forward.

"Did Fury tell you that? Because I know-"

"I don't want you blaming yourself for what happened to Coulson," she said, bluntly interrupting me.

"I, I dont-" I stopped talking.

"I know that look, Keight. You can't blame yourself for what happened. You weren't in control of yourself," Natasha got off the bed and headed for the door.

"And by the way, Fury told me to tell you he's granted your request. But you better hurry before it's too late." She strode out the room without another word.

I put the screen down roughly and left the room, almost sprinting. I wasn't sure if Fury would actually let me do this. It was a stupid, dangerous request but what I wanted was closure. I wanted, I needed to feel alright again.
This was my way of doing that.

As I arrived at the bridge, I was greeted by stares, glares and a few rare smiles. Actually the only smiles came from Agent Hill and Rogers, who both stood next to Fury at the centre control panel.

I was going faster than I had thought and almost crashed into the desk, and avoiding that fell onto Rogers.

"Oh shit, sorry," I muttered and adjusted myself a few feet away from Rogers. We hadn't seen much of each other since New York, and the most I could greet him with was a smile that felt more like a grimace.

"Miss Walsh," Fury sounded all business. He had to be. The clean up for New York was huge, not to mention sorting out my problems too.
"Yes sir, that's me," I responded, standing straight. Fury and I had been in constant contact the last week. I'd found out about the Avengers Initiative, which I'd missed being AWOL with Loki. It wasn't that suprising, really. I just never thought I'd be a part of it.

"You sure you're up for this?" Fury asked. Both Hill and Rogers were looking at me uncertainly. They all knew I wasn't that stable right now. I would never be stable again. But this was something I had to do. I needed to do this.

"No. But I need to talk to him," I looked down at the ground. Rogers was watching me.

Fury started walking, and I followed closely behind, with Hill and Rogers trailing loosely behind.

"Agent Hill and Captain Rogers will be stationed outside the door, should anything happen. You'll be wearing an earpiece, and Thor will be inside with you," Fury's coat rippled behind him as we rounded the corner.

"I don't want Thor-"

"It's non-negotiable Miss Walsh. You comply with my rules, or we turn right around," Fury spun around to face me, his one eye bearing down on me. I gulped.

"Yes Sir," I said quietly. I didn't want Thor there. But if it was the only way I could talk to him, it had to be so.

Finally, we arrived at the door. Hill and Rogers stood behind me. Fury nodded at them curtly.

"I'll be watching," he said, in his gruff way, and strode from the room, radiating something I could only describe as a powerful confidence.

"Here, put this in," Hill handed me a small silver earpiece, that sat snugly in my ear. I rubbed my hands on my jeans, suddenly feeling cold. Rogers out his hand on my shoulder.

"You'll be ok. I'm right out here if you need me," he said softly, his face close to mine. I smiled tiredly.

"I'll be fine. I can do this," I said, my shaken confidence shining through.

I would do it. I would walk in there with confidence, and power, and strength and I would show him that I survived. That I lived, and I was better than he would ever be.

I hoped I was better.

Authors Note
Thoughts?