The Force Between Us/Kylo Ren x reader

Mixed emotions

The next day, you were woken up by Captain Phasma. It wasn't very pleasant. She strictly ordered you to be ready in five minutes so you had very little time to even try to comb your hair or make yourself look presentable.

You threw your hair into a loose ponytail and threw on a basic black cloak and matching attire.

You had little time to eat so you scarfed down what you could and drank a bit of blue milk to wash it down. You weren't a big fan of the stuff but you had to hurry and meet Kylo who was almost at his limit with patience.

"Um, morning?" You sheepishly and awkwardly spoke up as you walked over to meet him.

"We need to speak to Snoke when training is over with for today." He dryly responded, turning to look at you. You suddenly got a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach at the mention of him. You could even tell that Kylo himself was uncomfortable.

"Don't ask questions. . .just--go with me. We will be heading back to Starkiller base soon." Kylo said. You nodded your head slowly, hoping you wouldn't have to deal with more than what was expected of you. . .whatever that might be. You dreaded it.

You and Kylo walked in silence yet again up the hike to the cliff. You were nearly out of breath once you reached the top but he seemed unfazed. Today, he seemed much stronger than normal and a lot more tense. He was angry again.
And he was taking it out on you.

He had you pinned beneath him, lightsaber nearly colliding with your throat. The two of you hadn't even stopped to take a break. . .Kylo was relentless.

"Kylo!" You grunted, not knowing how much longer you could hold him. He had a dangerous look in his eye. It scared you. It wasn't like the usual normal look he gave you. This was a look of hatred and you hadn't seen that side of him in a hot minute.

"KYLO!" You screamed, finally pushing him off of you as he rolled over. You were panting and out of breath. He had nearly killed you.

"W-what the hell?" You panted, breath shaky. You didn't know what had come over him. He was like a drastic change from hot and cold.

"You nearly killed me," you frowned, looking down at him. His sweaty matted dark hair was in his eyes and he kept his eyes away from you. He groaned and shot up, throwing his lightsaber towards the ground as it skidded in the grass towards the path you two walked up.

You sighed. Something was up. . . something that he wasn't telling you. "Okay. . .wanna tell me what is going through that thick head of yours? One minute you're fine and the next it's like you lose all control. I dont-"

"Stop. Stop trying to figure me out!" He scolded, walking towards you. "You don't know anything about me!!"

"Then let me!! Open up to me! Stop trying to bottle up your emotions, Kylo!" You pleaded, as he was standing merely inches from you.

"You. . .y-you don't know what it's like. . .you don't know what I've had to do to keep myself from. . ." His voice shook as he kept his head lowered.

"From. . .what, Kylo?" You asked gently, keeping your tone low. You did something in that moment that caught even yourself by surprise. You felt for his hand as it hung loosely by his side. You gently took it in yours, holding onto his like he could fade away if you let go.

He didn't even try to resist. In fact, he melded his fingers around yours and brought his eyes towards yours, longingly as if looking for some kind of answers.

"It's okay. . ." You whispered. His eyes threatened to spill with tears. "I've always felt a-alone. . ." He choked. "I know you feel it too, what I did to your. . .your planet. . .I took all that away from you." He replied, voice low and almost emotionless like he was detaching himself from reality.

You wiped his tears away. "Kylo, I know you are better than this. If you weren't tied down to the dark side. . .think of what you could be." You replied, hesitating at first but finally wiping more tears that stained his cheeks.

He flinched as you did but nevertheless still held your hand. You felt the force imminating through you and you were sure he felt it too. It was calling you both.

"This. . .force between us has got to be for a reason, don't you think? I believe we're meant for something greater than anything we've ever known. Something bigger than anything," You replied.

"Yes. I believe that too. It's called me to you ever since that day. I've been drawn to you for what feels like forever," he spoke, softly moving a strand of your hair away from your face as it blew wildly in the wind.

"Y/N. . .tonight, I want you to promise me that you won't do anything rash." He said, changing his tone a more serious one.

You gave him a confused look. "What do you-"

"Just don't. Let me handle the situation. I-I don't want anything to bring harm to you. You don't know what you'll be up against," he spoke, giving you a warning glance.

You simply nodded, but kept your guard up about whatever he meant. Was it about Snoke?

"I promise, but don't just expect me to stand there and look pretty just in case something does happen. I'm not useless you know," you smirked.

He sighed, letting go of your hand. You felt cold without his touch for some reason and strangely disconnected from the force.

"Let's get back to base," Kylo mentioned, picking up his saber and clipping it back on his belt.

You followed him back towards the ship, wary of what was to come. . .and definitely not expecting what it was.