Love Deprived

Chapter 3

Bluebell's P.O.V.

And honestly, that's the hardest part. Knowing that you like me to say the very least, but you never show it. Never distinguish it in public, never hold my gaze long enough, and it just seems difficult.

Maybe things will be better next year, I tell myself.

But that one thought poking at the back of my mind, poking through and creating holes in my brain, as the blood seeps through is;

Is there going to be a next year?

*****

"You're my newest student," he said. "And I have some things to teach you, and you have some things to learn."

He mumbled the last part, as he slowly walked about five feet with his pale hands behind his back. Deep, evil brown eyes boring into mine, the smirk never leaving his face, as I glared back at him. Bastard.

I shake my head physically back-and-forth with force, until the thought escapes my mind.

It was yet another haunting flashback from so many years ago, but they still haunt my memory. Lurking around until the key has unlocked the box, and I have found another piece to my past.

My past is horrible, absolutely horrible. But I must remember it to learn and know more things about myself and everything, right? Ya.

I mean there are good and great threads of memories in my past. Fairytales in the making... But they were never quite finished, due to realities interruptions.

Practically shooting me back through reality, letting me fly, until I am thrust back against the wall. Weak, as reality tries to shake it's taunting words into my ears, but I do not listen. Because I know someday I will get my fairytale. Maybe not now, maybe not in a thousand years, but Someday.

*****

It was one of the last days till school was over. The last day before finals, and most people were having mini head party envisions, and planning events or summer beginning parties at their home's pool. Richies.

As far as I knew, my night would be full of studying and daydreaming of sleep, which I don't get very much of anymore. Too many drifting thoughts.

Raise your hand if you feel me-

Lol, okay now back to stink'in reality.

I wait at the top of the bleachers inside the school's dingy and humidified gym. Ugh. My head rests against the black metal bars, thinking of how I hope that finals won't eat me alive tomorrow.

My headphones are in my ears, playing the song Too Little, Too Late, by JoJo. One of my favorite songs ever since I was younger, has a very catchy beat and shows guys not to mess with girls's feelings.

That's right Bitch!! Back up!!

Gosh, I'm going insane. Well not as insane as the cheerleader down there practicing, looking like she's doing her routine on a hangover. Hmm, maybe.

I don't even know what to say or ask the people talking around me, my friends, as I take out my headphones when the cheerleaders are done. I mean, no offense, but I'd rather hear good music than a bunch of screaming freshman girls, no offense, sorry (not sorry).

So I end up asking my friend Gracelie randomly, "Did you have a pineapple yesterday?"

"What?" She asks turning to me, a confused but hilarious expression on her face, green eyes wild.

"I said, 'Did you have a pineapple yesterday?'"

"Uh, ya, I actually did." She answers, still looking amused.

"How was it?" I asked giddily.

"Really good actually, very juicy." She answered, laughing and turning her head forward again.

"Lol that sounds wrong." I say laughing, and she laughs along too.

I swear my mind can make anything inappropriate, wtf, I don't even know anymore.

I look over to see Griffin sitting with his friends to my right, looking down at his phone, playing some wild game. As always.

He barely looks up over here, but his friends always stare at me. I don't get it. Boys are weird.

Speaking of weird, I miss how last year Griffin made my days so incredibly weird, but perfect. His sweet light laugh, making the room go quiet, the feel of a blush upon my cheeks whenever his eyes net mine. When he admitted to liking me to his friend, and I heard, and spit all the water in my mouth out at my friend Clarita. His silly, but romantic attempts at asking me out, that I would have said yes to, if Mr. Frer let him finish his question. When we fell in love again as he passed me the frisbee, purple jerseys swaying in the October breeze. When I got hit in the head with that same frisbee and he rushed to my side, carefully watching me as I sat out on the sidelines, a bag of ice collided with my forehead. But I will always remember and never forget the way our eyes shone when they met mine, and how I get a whole zoo of butterflies dancing inside of me.

You light me up and I will never, ever forget that.

*****

I sit down in the second stretch of bleachers, against the side. The gym even more hot than before as each breath is a struggle.

"Is there even air in here?" My friend, Bethany, says next to me.

" I don't know." I answer heaving in a big breath, and calculate that probably only 1% of this air is Oxygen, due to the amount of humidity in the air.

After some attempts of trying to find Wysteria, I remember that she is in the assembly. Duh. I think to myself.

So I decide to look for Griffin and can't find him anywhere, he was in the second row last time, but so was my class, even though I wasn't sitting with them, but in Griffin's class cause I could not find my seat after I sang the National Anthem with a group of people. But ya, I can't find him.

The chatter starts to escalate and get louder by the second, as 8th and 9th graders file into the area. "I can't find Griffin." I whisper softly to myself.

Bethany hears me, giving me a weak glance then flicking her brown hair back the other direction, as I slump against the metal bars.

A few minutes go by of me spacing off, when I feel his presence. I look up, blue/ gray eyes desperately searching, to find him 10 feet away. He looks down and to the side a bit, as if he was looking at me before he turned his eyes to the cement flooring, no type of exciting. A light flush appearing in his cheeks, eyes looking a gray/brown/green today. Absolutely gorgeous. Why can't he just hold my gaze? I mean how hard is it?

Xavier Ziter could obviously hold it for a long amount of time (creepy), but at least that sporty dude cares. A little too much, all the time, and he lives near me too. Uh, what.

I imagine Griffin looking at me as the counselor starts off talking about the assembly. Bla, bla, bla, is all I hear in the background.

Before I know it Wysteria, Clarita, Kristen, Kale, and a few of my other friends are singing a song about our school. I laugh at the funny parts about how teachers are concerned about us, and their crazy personalities. But smiling at my Best Friend otherwise. And it looks like I'm not the only one happy to see her.

Kendrick practically has his eyes glued to her, a smile imprinted on his face as he lightly sways to the song, they are so cute.

Meanwhile I look up at Griffin to see his head on his chin, eyes forward. Does he even care? I mean I know I'm being over-superstitious, but it makes me so worried how Wysteria and Kendrick are so happy, and Griffin and I, well I know he loves me... I see it in his eyes, but he needs to let me know more, if you know what I mean.

It just sucks a lot.

As they finish their song, I clap wildly and stand up cheering super loud and embarrassing myself, but who cares. I don't, haha!