Love Deprived

Chapter 9

Bluebell's P.O.V

Ugh.

What should I think? Because I honestly don't know anymore.

I guess I'm just feeling the heat of every situation that I've ever gone through, lately.

I just need to spend 3 days, 72 hours, by myself. Within my thoughts, figuring things out, listening to music, losing my reality (that I can barely muster with my horrible case of oneirataxia) in my favorite book series, House of Night, cooking yummy food, feeling okay and happy in my own presence.

But, unfortunately, that is not how the universe works, especially for me. 72 hours alone is absolutely impossible in my circumstances.

In fact, in 40 hours I will be at the local amusement park with my family, which I'm totally dreading. I already went there for my birthday, and I really, REALLY do not want to go with my family.

Hearing my sisters bicker over which seats they get, and who they sit with (not me).

Mom's screams and annoying high pitched laughs in my ear the whole time.

And listening to Dad get irritated and yell at everyone he could possibly see that annoys him in any way, such as not moving fast enough in line, even though it's a line and everyone moves at the same pace.

And me moping around not wanting to be there.

And the whole time only consisting of like two whole minutes of happiness, which is all my blood relatives can handle I guess, the whole time we're there?

Umm... No thank you.

I just want to sit on my Grandmother's old couch in my room, feeling comforted in Ed Sheeran's melody. I can definitely relate to his songs, even the ones that seem extreme, and not just in a childish way of which I misunderstand the lyrics. I mean, actually relate to the situation he is speaking, and singing of. Especially Runaway, Sunburn, The A Team, and Photograph. I think it's a good idea to carry around good memories within your pockets, but it would probably haunt me until there were deep and dark bags under my hollow eyes. Don't want that. Again.

I guess I'm just feeling like Shit today, even though I had Cotton Candy fro-yo earlier.

It's just, I mean, the girl in my book's life is better than mine.

Even though she is a vampire with serious bloodlust (not normal or really good), two boyfriends, and she Imprinted with one, which means they are connected, when she kinda just wants to escape him. And the other, the most popular guy at school and even older than her, and she is making him sad and troubling him with the boyfriend situation. The most important person on their campus, who happens to be everyone's High Priestess and her mentor, on her ass trying to drag her down (obviously the High Priestess is evil). Worrying about not making it through the Change and dying then turning into one of the undead, horrible bloodsucking creates that the High Priestess created with the students dead bodies (ew). Her best friend dying, and becoming one of the undead, and she is trying to save her. Plus her parents don't give a shit about her and keep trying to persuade her into things she doesn't want to do. Her "Father" (or step-loser) is all about religion and thinks that she is evil and gave her a bible as a birthday present, and her Mom, who used to be close with her, just follows the step-losers commands all the time. And she is leader of a select group at school, and is a Chosen one of many sorts.

And I can still honestly say I can relate to her on many levels.

Such as...

I also have an affinity for the five elements.

I am part vampyre, I mean I don't have fangs or any of that shit, but the blood is still swimming in my veins from when I was bit when I was 7, half my life ago. And jeesh, there are so many different types of vampyres, I'll talk about that later. (Secretly whenever someone bleeds or I smell blood, even of animals, it smells really good to me and I want to have it. I mean I haven't drank blood for a long time but still, it's hard especially when you are put in school with a bunch of others who are not your kind. The only people that are, are Wysteria, Griffin, and Kendrick, and they're still not exactly like me. And I'M NOT ever going to drink their blood, so don't worry.) Oh, annd I'm not just vampyre, but many other species.

My parents also don't care about me on any level really, and call me "The-troubled-one," literally. It's sad really. And btw, they don't use it as a joke.

And I have to worry about dying too. This was supposed to be my death year (I get visions of the future, good and bad), and I just have to hope and pray that I stay alive.

And duhh, bloodlust as I mentioned above.

Also I am Chosen for many things, it's hard, but I don't let it get to me.

And as for the rest, I have different situations to deal with.

An example would be, I am meant to be with Griffin, we are literally soulmates, but other people are trying to mess with that (A.k.a. Xavier ps. He's the guy that is trying to get Griffin away from me so I can be "up for grabs," and he's also the most popular guy at school.) But I love Griffin soooo *Hisses loudly at Xavier*

So I guess I have the opposite situation with the girl (Zoey) in my book, with boys.

The only problems that aren't relatable with her and I are the High Priestess and leader problem, then again, I'm 14, not 17. A lot can change in 3 years.

So yepp, I'm just a supernatural girl in this mortal world with only some people like my kind around me, even though this world is practically against me, and the other one loves me. It difficult honestly, very difficult, but I get through it.

That's also why Halloween is my favorite holiday. Because the fabric between the world where my soul comes from, and this one is thin. :)