Love Deprived

Chapter 14

Wysteria's P.O.V

Okay so it's October now and you would think that something would have happened between between Kendrick and I right? WRONG. I mean seriously how long does this guy need before he can talk to me? Apparently a long long long time. He might be talking to me all the time using telecommunication, but I want him to talk to me for real. Even if he just says hi I will be happy because at least he knows I exist. Bluebell tells me all these things that he does and says to her about me which I love hearing. But I want to hear those from him. I just... I don't know if what I'm hearing really is true or if I'm just living in a fantasy where I only see and hear what I want to instead of the harsh reality that is life. And I just think that if I heard something, anything from Kendrick, that my fantasy could be proven to be a reality. No one understands me besides Bluebell because she has those doubts just as much as I do. If I ever told my friends they would just think I'm living in a fantasy like I thought. And to be honest I can't really blame them for thinking that. I mean, what person can communicate using only their mind and have super powers like a witches or a faeries? I've tried telling a mortal about my powers before and it did not go well as I said before.

You know, I really hate not being able to show people who I really am. That's another issue I have at school. I can't show people the real me, the sassy, smart, sensitive, confident person I am. In the past, for some reason people respected me at one point, almost as if they were intimidated by me, and I hate to say it, but I liked it. It was one of the few times I could show people the real me. Even popular guys were intimidated by me, and they usually aren't intimidated by anyone or anything. I felt like I had power, and I hadn't had that in a long time. I wouldn't say that I was alone a lot during that time, but I also didn't have many friends. It wasn't until I started letting my guard down that I got some real friends, ones that I still have today. So now that I don't really have that power anymore, I feel helpless and vulnerable. I now look like the shy nerd who can sing and who gets good grades. I'm not treated with respect anymore. In fact I'm more of a pushover now, and people take that to their advantage. They run into me all the time in the halls and don't even say sorry. They make fun of me behind my back, but I know that they do because I can read their thoughts and I can see them talking about me. They call me stupid a lot, just because I didn't understand one tiny thing in math or science. They're are some people that mess with me for a reason, and that's because they're friends with Kendrick. I have a love hate relationship with some of his friends. There are some that leave me alone, probably because they don't know me enough. Then there are some that I have classes with but they just look at me like they're observing me. And then there are the stalkers. These people can be just plain creepy. They will literally watch me everywhere I go in school. I always see at least one of them when I go to my next class and it creeps the living hell out of me. And I know that they tell Kendrick about what they see. I see it at lunch. Kendrick has one main stalker, and he gives him the most info about me. This has been happening since sixth grade so I should be used to it right? Well I'm not so yeah it sucks.

Anyways besides them I mostly focus on a few things. Grades, show choir, my family, and Griffin, Kendrick, and Bluebell. Out of the four I mostly focus on my grades and the names above. It's the same situation with all three of them, but the guys focus on sports instead of show choir. But let's get back to the situation at hand, which is Kendrick. Okay so Bluebell is going to be gone for one day so I will be dreadfully lonely for one day and I am going to hate it, but according to Bluebell, Kendrick is going to try to get closer than he ever has before to me, which is great but terrible at the same time because without Bluebell I will be a nervous wreck like I usually am around him. Ugh I'm a goner if he tries to talk to me seriously I turn into a mess just simply being in the same room as him. But it's kind of adorable because sometimes he's just as much a nervous wreck as I am. He turns all pink and he can't focus and he kind of stutters to his friends too, which tells them that I'm around and that makes them tease him. It's so cute. I can't express how much I love this guy, and it's bad enough that I can't even look at him without blushing, much less talk to him. Oh dear I might have a long day ahead of me. No scratch that, I will have a long day, and if I know Kendrick, he's probably gonna make a pretty big move, so in other words, I'm dead.