Love Deprived

Chapter 1

Bluebells P.O.V

I sit in my room, peering down at the book held in my hands, my legs entangled and crossed over each other on my sea-foam bedspread.

I think about what it would be like to be Bev, traveling around the U.S in an old 70's-80's van given the name Melinda. Not having a care in the world, as you play music all night long, and watch the beautiful landscape all day. So peaceful. And I know everyone has their own complications, but what a small captivation they have to endure, a lot of room for fun in their lives.

Unlike mine.

If there was a way I could, or would describe my life, it would be;

A treacherous journey down a broken road, leading me somewhere good, I hope.Too many cons to count, but some fantastic pros, that, by the way, I do not take for granted, because I know just how fast they can disappear.

Pros:

1. My fantastic friends

2.Hopeful Dream

3.Griffin

4.Hope for, at least, an okay family (probably not going to happen)

5. The talents I have

6. My love for life, regardless what I've been through

Cons:

Don't want to think about them right now (blah).I think about the look in Griffin's eyes today, how his brown/green sparkled amber when he caught sight of me. How the red flustered in his cheeks, as he smiled back. His plump lips opening up to his gorgeous teeth. Is it wrong to say that a boy has gorgeous teeth? I don't know, but I wonder how many other people have asked that same question, haha!

I actually think that was yesterday though...Lol, when his butt was on the table in the air though, hahahaha! I mean how can you not trail your eyes to it, when he was wearing neon shorts? I mean come on!! i start cracking up mentally, but I can't on the outside, because it's 10:00 pm and my sisters are sick, and asleep. Ugh. Dang it, I should probably get back to my book, I got off track again. Poo.

Ugh! And how Bev knows that Colby is practically in love with her, but flirts with every gut along the way! Geez!! Does she even realize how lucky she is? Apparently not.

Its just like how my best friend Wysteria likes a boy at school named Kendrick, and every friggin day, Wysteria makes it really friggin obvious that she likes Kendrick, And Kendrick likes her too, no duh, but he still has to be a Doop and put together a friggin LIST of who he thinks likes him. And Wysteria is definitely on it, but ME? Like, dude, wtf? No offense, but no. We've gone over this, what, at least ten times!? Der-de-der. And on a somewhat different related note, I know Griffin likes me, and I like him. But do we talk in real life? No. Does he know how I feel completely? Does he hold my gaze for long? Yes, but not often.

And honestly the only time I get a ting of inner life is when I see him. Enrolled and intertwined with his embrace, even though we never talk, never touch, and I can even only remember his scent when I am going insane, and completely out of my mind, which is often, but still.

I have gone numb. But when I'm with him, near him, I get something. A feeling, and inner enlightenment, a sliver of happiness. Or love? And I treasure that feeling as much as I can. I imagine that, that is the closest I will ever get to love. And I know that love can blossom and grow, i have been told that, and told myself numerous times. But it's still hard to believe, even though I've felt real love, a long time ago, but I still remember. I guess it's just hard to remember what love feels like, and is, when you know how horrible people can be, what they can do. And have to carry that around with you, for all your years. Whether it is thousands, or a few.

Most people learn these lessons through books, or forgotten tales, or even movies. And unfortunately, but fortunately, I guess at the same time, I have had to deal with these lessons face to face, and overtake them. Still are. But there are some things you can't escape, that will always follow you, that you can't help. But that's ok, because we all need help sometimes, and that's why we have others to help us, when we need protected, and to get back down to earth, or our head up in the clouds again. There will always be someone to lead you up the invisible staircase to your hopes.

Cause aren't we all waiting for our happy ending? A fairy tale? i believe that's what everyone needs, a little love, but unfortunately some of us have too much. Or too little.