Above the Crimson Sky (Sequel to Beneath the Midnight Sky)

III. Secrets

It was already 3:00 am when Zayn found himself unable to sleep. Insomnia had been treating him like a long lost friend lately and he wasn't sure when it would go away. He glanced over at Louis who was snoring softly with his mouth open parted. Once he saw he was asleep, he tip toed out of bed and lifted up his mattress.

He retrieved a small golden box revealing small tiny pink circles and blue squares. He grasped two of the pink pills and laid them on top of the box and crushing them with his lighter. He double checked to make sure Louis was still asleep before holding the box up to his nose, snorting it quickly. He prayed this would provide some relief.

"Z, are you ok? Why are you sitting up?" Louis asked rubbing his eyes sheepishly.

"Went to the vending machine. Hunger pangs," he lied and sniffled his nose harshly. "Go back to sleep, Lou," he said firmly as Louis nodded and closed his eyes again. He got up and put the cover up to Louis' chin and quickly put the box back under his mattress.

Not long after, he found himself able to sleep as the Ambien began to kick in.

****

Harry eagerly knocked on the door to walk Louis to his first class. He waited patiently and stuffed his hands in his pocket.

"Harry!" Louis exclaimed.

"Lou, it's time for class but you're not dressed...." Harry observed. "Did you just wake up? Is someone being a naughty boy?" He winked.

Louis hung his head in shame. "I didn't set my alarm because Zayn usually wakes me up but he's still asleep..." Louis said pointing at him. "And then, I've been deciding what to wear for about 30 minutes and I can't choose because I look like a cow in all these clothes!"

Frowning, Harry took his hand and walked him over to the closet. "I want your self-esteem so high that nobody can ever tear you down, Lou. I'll be Zayn today, alright? I'll pick your outfit out," He reassured him and sorted through his clothes.

"OoO, I like this concept!" He observed. He handed Louis a plain white t, a brown jacket, and skinny blue jeans. "You're going to look so nice!" Harry cooed fondly.

"Ready to come out yet?" Harry asked knocking on the door.

Louis looked at himself in the mirror and grabbed ahold of his imaginary love handles. He made a repulsed face but when he opened the door to show Harry, he put on a fake smile. "Ready,"

I'd skip lunch if I were you.

Harry clutched Louis hand and walked him to his next class. He kissed him on the cheek and waved goodbye.

"Yo Harry, wait up!" He heard a familiar voice. "So Friday night, at my place, party of the century. It's going to be a smash. I need you there because people are attracted to you like flies!"

"Ed, I don't know. That used to be me but then I settled down. I'm not sure if I'm into the party scene as much," he shrugged. "I would rather spend my Friday watching movies with Lou,"

Ed made a fake gagging noise. "Oh young love," he teased. "He can come to the party too. I mean...didn't you all first kiss in my room...." He said. "I'll make sure nobody comes in there. It can be your little VIP section..."

Harry made a thinking face. "Alright, if Lou wants to go, we'll be there."

Ed jumped excitedly. "Oh be SURE to tell Zayn for me, too. Haven't seen him around much but he is defiantly needed there if you know what I mean," he chocked an eyebrow.

****

When class ended, Louis found himself in his dorm room alone. He had texted Harry not to meet him after class because he had an assignment he needed to concentrate on but he really wanted to be a recluse in his room.

Carrying a bag from the cafeteria, Louis sat down at his desk and placed the food in a neat and organized manner. A cup of carrot sticks, celery, and cracker was measured in perfect 1 oz proportions and inside a small box was grilled chicken strips.

He snapped the carrots into tiny pieces and did the same to the celery and chicken, discarding the crackers. His face twisted into repulsion when he looked at all the food on his plate. Exhaling harshly, he placed a piece of carrot in his mouth but quickly spit it out, unable to swallow it.

Ha! All that treatment and here we are....

"You can do this..." he told himself feeling silly. "It's nutrition for your body. Carrots 10 calories; Celery 4 calories; Grilled chicken 90 calories...That isn't that much." He said arguing with himself. "Nobody is mad at you. Everything is fine."

104 calories is going to stack on top of whatever else you eat throughout the day. It may seem small but the number only grows.

Static kept appearing in his ears. He bit another piece of carrot and swallowed it before taking shoving a celery stick in his mouth. He chewed aggressively trying not to spit it out. He quickly shoved a piece of chicken in his mouth as well until all the food in front of him was gone.

"That wasn't so bad," he shrugged.

You're weak and are losing control. Nothing taste as good as thin feels....

He placed his hands over his face and rubbed his eyes violently, trying to distract himself. He retrieved a water bottle from the mini fridge and chugged the water straight down.

Feel bloated now? Maybe that's just your pudgy stomach.

Not being able to fight Ana off any longer, he ran into the bathroom and tickled the back of his throat until he induced vomiting. He could feel his body growing hot and tears falling from his eyes unwillingly. He repeated the gesture until he felt his entire stomach contents was empty. Feeling weak, he sat down on the cold tile.

"Lou, what are you doing?" Zayn snapped with his arms crossed. "I thought I was dreaming but here you are...I thought you were better?"

"I just got sick," Louis lied.

"I watched you, Lou!" Zayn said in disbelief as he walked over to him and crouched down. "Are you still going to therapy?"

"I was but then I felt better so I stopped going. Please don't think nothing of this. It's just this one time and I don't know what came over me....Zayn...can you please not to tell Harry?" Louis begged.

"I don't know, Lou. I don't think I can keep this from him."

"But it can be our secret. We don't need to make a deal about it, right?" Louis asked pouting.

"Ok, but if you do this again..." Zayn threatened firmly as he helped him out of the floor and turned the water on for him to brush his teeth and wash his hands. "There won't be any negotiation. I won't allow another relapse." He yawned.

"Why were you still asleep anyway? It's 1:00 in the afternoon," Louis pointed out. "You never sleep in. You're usually up before me....are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. Just tired is all. I've had insomnia for the past couple days. Don't worry about me," he smiled as he walked over to the desk to get his comb. "What is THIS?" He questioned holding up the napkin that had the spit out carrots on it.

"It tasted bad," he said making a squeamish face.

You're going to have to be more careful. They're just trying to make you fat and depressed.

"Oh, Lou...." Zayn complained. "One and only chance, remember that..." He said ashe walked out the door to meet Liam.    

**********

Authors Note: <3 Oh anorexia.