X. Sleep to Dream

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The party was unlike the previous ones. In fact, Harry classified it more as a typical hangout among people his age. There wasn't a lot of people there. Some he did not recognize, but for the most part, it was just the usual gang.

He watched as Niall and Liam continued to drink, despite doing just that yesterday. Without Louis, he felt isolated and alone; not sure what to do with his time.

He sat down between Ed and Zayn on the living room couch.

"My boy," Ed said giving him a high-five. "Glad you could make it, Har. I need you to talk some sense into Liam for me."

"About?"

"Well, he wants to quit his job," Ed explained. "And I need him. He's one of the best employees I have." Ed inched closer to him, "Said it's too painful to be around Zayn but I mean come on, right?"

Harry gave Ed a weird look. "I'll talk to him I guess. Didn't know he had a job. Thought he had his parents trust fund...." He said eyeing Zayn who tried to appear dumb.

"We'll sort out all the details later." Ed patted Harry's knee before getting up to leave Zayn and Harry alone.

"What was that about?" Harry shot him a look.

"I don't know. I told him it's no big deal. Liam deserves a break after everything I've put him through. I guess I'll talk to Ed some more later. Right now, I need to relax." Zayn reached under the couch cushion and retrieved a zip lock bag.

He used the blunt end of his lighter to crush up some sort of pill and sprinkle it in the marijuana cigarette he was making. He eagerly licked the thin paper.

"What is that?" Harry asked.

"Weed and Roxy. Gives me a better high and helps me just chill." He turned the lighter around and lit his finished piece. He placed it up to his lips and inhaled deeply, immediately slouching his shoulders. He looked over at Harry an offered it to him.

Without second thought, Harry huffed deep. He titled his head back and exhaled the smoke, giggling slightly. Amused by the sudden reaction, Zayn smiled wide at him as he took a drag of the joint. He looked over at Liam who quickly declined. He eyed Niall who shook his head in a no fashion but not before giving Harry a worried look.

"Hey. I think your friends belong to the judgmental squad," Zayn chuckled quietly in his ear.

"No. I think that look is because you and I are sitting together without trying to kill each other. Niall used to come over here all the time and smoke with me. I'm sure you already know about Liam." Harry said taking the joint out Zayn's hand and inhaling. "What about Lou? He do anything like this?"

"Eh, he tried it yeah." Zayn confessed. "But he didn't like it." 

Harry closed his eyes, realizing that his hangover had subsided but he felt exhausted. His recent lack of sleep was catching up to him. His eyes felt heavy and his mouth was extremely dry. Licking his lips, he drifted off asleep half smiling.

"Zayn, what are you doing?" Liam asked sitting next to him. "With Harry...what are you doing?"

"Nothing man. What's your deal?" He asked taking another hit before exposing of the small piece left in an ashtray sitting in his lap.

"No, I won't allow it!" Liam retorted. "Leave Harry alone. Don't drag him into this."

"Into what? You need to check yourself."

"Leave him alone. I mean it!" He threatened.

"Liam, I don't know why you go around pouting all the time. You're the one who suggested we go on a break. It was all you." Zayn challenged.

Before Liam could respond, Niall came and plopped down beside of them, swinging around a bottle of clear alcohol around. "Who brought this mouth orgasm?"

"Gigi." Zayn said amused. "Be careful. It's called 99 bananas because it's 99 proof schnapps."

"Fucking delicious," Niall slurred. "Here Liam, try it." He said holding the small neck up to Liam's lips making him chug a large amount.

"The taste sure doesn't get rid of the burn. That's stout." Liam choked. "Is Harold asleep?"

"Fucking looks like it." Niall sarcastically stated as he sat in Harry's lap. "Anyone have a Sharpie?"

Suddenly, a mischievous look showed up on Niall's face but nobody was in the mood to humor him. 

******

  "Louis!" Harry waved on the tiny FaceTime screen.

"Hey Lou!" Liam and Niall said in unison.

"You guys can't see but he's waving," Zayn narrated. "We'll be there soon!"

Louis made a finger motion and pointed back and forth between Harry and Zayn.

"Oh, this? Harry was having a breakdown and needed comforted. Does it bother you?" Zayn questioned. Louis shook his head no and grabbed the dry erase board.

He wrote I'm sorry, Harry ILY

"Sorry? Don't be sorry. Just get better," Harry replied wiping his eyes. "I should be sorry for not seeing it earlier..." he said breaking down again.

Zayn wiped Harry's face and frowned at Louis who began to breakdown as well. He stood up out of bed and walked toward the bathroom, leaving his phone on the bed.

"Louis?" Zayn called out. "Lou, I can't see you. All I can see is the ceiling..."

Everyone listened as they heard loud banging coming from the other end of the FaceTime call.

"Um..Harry...you need call one of his family members to check on him. This doesn't sound good."

Sometimes noise can heighten the senses. Banging causes the muscles to tense and your eyes to wide – you may feel your pupils dilate and feel your breath begin to race. Then it stops. Ears strain and struggle to hear the slightest quiver of sound to prove existence to anything and to nothing. But nothing wins the race. Stillness replaces the quiet mind we all come to know as silence. We open the cupboard doors of our hearts and find it bare. We are empty. We are dying. We are a fleeting moment, already fading to commercial.

At approximal 1:43 p.m. they found Louis mostly unresponsive with a sheet wrapped around his neck. Nobody knows for sure what his motive was. All the answers they may ever receive is on a dry erase board with the words in sloppy handwriting:

I'm sorry, Harry ILY.

Sometimes our dreams become nightmares but what if our nightmares become dreams? He wiped the sweat off his forehead lazily and sighed.

Touching the place where the noose hung around his neck, he sighed when he realized it was only a dream and he was still here to die to live another day.

*****

Authors Note: What an intense dream Louis was having huh? No idea what's wrong with me tonight. So depressing. Love you. 

Happy New Years!

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