"You need to go through psychotherapy, it's only best for you."
Dr Yosano's words echoed in her empty mind.
Psychotherapy.
Psychological therapy.
Was she really in need of such special treatment?
Her field of vision shifted when she looked out of the window beside her bed. The strong wind banished the magnolia white clouds, leaving the sky serenely blue.
It was peaceful — her small haven. The serenity of the place made her feel at ease. It was quite unimaginable, considering that she had escaped death's door only hours ago.
In that fleeting moment, she could actually relax without remembering the numerous deaths, bloodshed and massacre she had unknowingly caused.
A knock on the door drew her away from her little world. A woman donning a white coat slipped in through the door with a bright smile on her visage, "Ms (L/n) am I right? We'll start with the therapy now."
She blinked at her therapist, unresponsive.
"Express the thoughts and feelings you are having currently."
She turned her attention back to the azure sky as she gathered her scrambled thoughts.
"Empty."
"Why is that so?"
"I don't...know."
"What do you wish to do now?" The therapist queried.
"Just stare at the sky..." She muttered.
"What do you feel when you look at it?"
"Tranquil."
The therapist continued to ask her a string of questions, which she answered dully in short replies. Each question delved deeper into the subject she had wished countless of times to forget. Only when she had reached her limit, she broke down.
"I didn't choose to do it. I couldn't control my ability. I just want to save the people I care for, but why does it always ends up the o-opposite?" Tears brimmed in her eyes and she forced herself to hold them back, her voice hoarse and scratchy.
The therapist gently patted her back and said soothingly, "If it helps to make you feel better, then let it out."
Like someone had hammered down the wall that had kept her strong, she began to let go of everything she had fought hard not to show. It didn't embarrass her that she had to let her guard down around a stranger. Therapists were supposed to heal people mentally after all.
The therapist let her cry out her frustrations and it gradually tires her out. Her energy completely drained from pouring out her emotions. The woman got up from the chair beside the bed and left the room silently, careful not to wake her patient up.
A single silhouette sat outside the room, reading a small red book. When the doctor emerged, he snapped the book shut and stood up.
"Are you aquatinted to the patient?"
"Yes."
"She is quite unstable and it would take about a week for her to heal but with support from close ones she's most likely to recover faster. She's asleep now, but would you like to stay with her?"
"I'll stay."
†
Thank you for reading!
tysm for the 2k reads
YOU ARE READING
Uncontrollable || Dazai Osamu » book 1 ✓
Fiksi Penggemar｢ Dazai Osamu x Reader ｣ ❝Why am I still living? Am I allowed to be alive? Why is someone who is a threat to humanity, such as I, is still standing on the same earth as everyone? Tell me!❞ [completed • 2018] @-dostoevsky 「 BOOK 1 」
