Moonlight | lrh

0.4

59 Days Clean.

It has now been a month since I arrived in Sydney. Things have been getting on great, amazingly even. The girls and I have all grown unbelievably close. Especially Beth and I. We both shared the same taste in music and it always gave us something to talk about.

I had also managed to get a job at a restaurant only down the street. I worked Monday through Wednesday and then did overtime on Sunday, earning myself double the wage. It wasn't the best paid but, it was far better than what I had expected to earn from waitressing. Honestly, I couldn't complain.

Walking in the door from work, I took my hair down from the high pony tail it was currently hung in and shook my hair out. It had been an extremely busy day, as we had a wedding. The guests were nice. They didn't leave too much of a mess after the reception and the manager, Bill, had then given me the evening off.

I walked straight upstairs and into the shower, washing the smell of food and sweat from my body. After washing my hair, I went into my bedroom and dried myself off, putting on a pair of shorts and my Mayday Parade band shirt with my black vans.

I walked into the kitchen and headed towards the counter, grabbing an apple. Beth was sitting in the living room on her phone, she hadn't seen me yet.

Jacey had gotten a job at, surprisingly, a Mexican restaurant. She too was waitressing but her job was more stressful because she had to constantly translate the menu for non-Spanish speakers. Gee had gotten a job in a shelter, helping adopt out animals and taking care of them. On numerous occasions, she had come home with adoption papers. She wanted us to get a house animal. In the end, we settled for two goldfish. It wasn't what Gee had wanted but, she was still pleased.

Beth was actually yet to find a job. Sometimes she helped Gee walk the dogs from the shelter but other than that, I haven't heard her talking about any form of work.

"Hey," I said to Beth, plopping down on the sofa beside her. Beth looked up at me and smiled, taking out her earbuds.

"Hey," she laughed out, locking her phone. Taking a bite from my apple, I winked at her and indicated towards her phone.

"How's the boyfriend?" I asked jokingly, causing Beth to glare at me. I laughed at her expression and Beth hit me on the arm.

"He's fine actually, Wilson." Beth replied sarcastically, using my surname. It was a bad habit she had developed but honestly, I didn't mind. Just as I was about to reply, Beth's phone lit up between us on the couch. Subconsciously, I glanced at it. It was a message from Penguinnn (:

Rolling my eyes, I didn't read the message and instead stood up.

"I'll leave you back to your sexts," I said mockingly, moving to walk out of the room. Beth threw one of the cushions from the couch at the back of my head.

"That's his friend you asshole," she said laughing. Shouting back a whatever, I walked into my room as I took another bite from my apple. Beth was always, always on her phone. It never leaves her side, it's kind of cute how madly in love she is with her boyfriend.

As I took another chunk from my apple, I grabbed a pen from my nightstand and walked over to my calendar hanging on the back of my door. I hummed Underdog under my breath as I knocked off todays date, May 31st. just as I was about to walk away from the calendar, the familiar aching rose in my chest as I realised what date it was today.

May 31st, Hazel's eighteenth birthday.

My breath caught in my throat as I stared at the small box. How could I have forgotten? I felt tears well in my eyes as I thought about it. She would've been eighteen today. Her life was just starting.

Tears escaped from my eyes and I fought to wipe them away. They were falling at a much faster rate than I could brush them away. Dropping my apple, I stumbled over to my bed. I clasped my hand over my hand to drown out my sobs. I couldn't let Beth hear me.

"The day I turn eighteen, I'm going to have such a huge party," Hazel sighed out, brushing her hair behind her ear. Turning to her, I smirked.

"Let's be honest, we all know what you want for your eighteenth," I joked, hinting towards her twin brother's best friend. She had been trying to get with him for as long as I can remember, she was smitten with him.

"Who knows? Anything could happen Lee." Hazel said winking, causing us both to fall into a chorus of laughter.

I had ruined her opportunity to have an amazing eighteenth and then, I forgot about it. What kind of pathetic friend was I? My hand slipped out my phone from my pocket and I unlocked it quickly, opening the music app. After a few tries, I finally found the title of the song through my tear bearing eyes.

"For a while we pretended that we never had to end it, but we knew we'd have to say goodbye. You were crying at the airport when they finally closed the plane door, I could barely hold it all inside. Torn, in two and I know I shouldn't tell you bu-"

"Shan?" Someone said knocking on my door and pushing it open. Shaking my head, a sob escaped my lips and I turned on my side, withering away from the person. The familiar scent of Beth's perfume wafted through my room as two arms wrapped around me.

"W-What happened?" Beth stuttered, pulling me close to her. Shaking my head again, I hid my face on Beth's shoulder and continued to cry, not even caring that I was ruining her shirt.

***

"It was June 20th," I said quietly, finishing up my explanation. "That was when the accident happened." Looking up at Beth, she looked shocked to say the least. I chewed the inside of my lip as the empty feeling welled up in my chest again.

"It was about a week after that... I, um..." I mumbled, wringing my hands together. Beth placed her hand on my back encouragingly and rubbed it in soothing circles. I had never told anyone this before. Not even my parents.

"I started off with maybe just one on my finger, blaming it on my dog. But then, it got too much. One on my finger turned into two on my wrist and three on my hips. I just, I couldn't stop." I whispered. "I always hid them. Nobody knew, absolutely nobody. I cut high around my hip, so if I had to wear shorts nobody would see the scars. Nobody ever has."

"Shanley..." Beth breathed out, pulling me into a hug. Wrapping my arms around her, I gulped.

"It was after that I found 5 Seconds of Summer." I revealed quietly. "Luke's voice distracted me from cutting one night when Wherever You Are came on the playlist I was listening to. Ever since, I have only relapsed once. I'm clean 59 days today." I told Beth honestly.

"I'm so proud of you, Shanley." Beth whispered, continuing to hold my shaking body. Nodding my head, shut my eyes.

"Thank you," I said weakly.

"I've told you already, if you ever need someone to talk to that I'm here Shan. I went through my parent's divorce on my own before I found Michael. I know what it's like to be alone. I don't want you to go through that too."