Shadows of the marked

11

My apologies, I'm so sorry that I've been so inactive lately. Between school, work, and my life at home, I've hardly had any time to myself.

please forgive me, and enjoy this chapter.

Light shimmers it's way through the curtains, lighting the room with hues of orange and yellow. Carefully I️ turn to face the clock on the bedside table and sigh out loud at what it reads.

5:53 am.

It was only a few hours ago when Calvin and I️ had finally went to bed. The only reason we did is because he finally got tired. My body aches, but somehow I️ manage to reach out to touch Cal. Instead of touching his warm body like I️ had expected; I️ touch the ice cold space where his body had been when I️ fell asleep last night.

I️ knit my eyebrows together in confusion and glance towards the bathroom. Empty. The satisfaction I️ had before is replaced with disappointment. I️ never ask Calvin to stay with me; but shouldn't that just be a given? Even if I️ am married to the man, waking up alone after a night like ours; still makes me feel like I'm only wanted for sex. No matter how much I️ know it isn't true- it still tends to get to me.

Sitting up in the bed, I️ look around at my surroundings. The room is askew, and the headboard has a large crack down the center of it. My wrists have bruises, along with a few more places on my aching body.

Sighing out loud, I slip out of bed and tug on Calvin's shirt from the day before. It's long enough to go down to my knees, but the material hugs my hips. The sheer disappointment of that alone makes me disgusted with myself.

Since I've been with Cal, I've gained weight. He tells me constantly that he doesn't mind; and it's good that I am. I was underweight, and now it just goes to show that he's treating me right as Cal likes to put it.

Quietly, I wander out of the bedroom and down the staircase. The very last step at the bottom creaks. It's something that has always been there, and no matter how hard Cal tries fixing it; it just continues.

No lights in the household are on. Except for his office. I furrow my eyebrows at the sight of it. It sparks my attention because Calvin hasn't used it in weeks. He never uses it, and when he does it's to keep something from me.

A small anger ignites at the sight of it, but I swallow it down and inch towards the room. Carefully placing my feet I'm as quiet as a mouse. Something falls and makes a loud thud, followed by a murmured 'fuck'.

I can't help but gasp because the sound startled me. I inch closer, hoping to be able to see what Calvin is doing. A shadow moves across the doorway, and seconds later Calvin is leaning against the frame.

"What gave me away?" I frown, crossing my arms over my chest. I've been practicing my stealth but nothing ever seems to get past him. He raises an eyebrow.

"Honey, what didn't give you away?" His eyes rake over my body, taking in the few visible marks he'd left on parts of my skin. "You smell like sex, and the way you were walking sounded like a squirrel jumping in leaves. You're not sneaky." He smiles.

Instead of taking his joke, I frown. "I shouldn't have to be." Calvin aura changes suddenly. "Why are you up sneaking around in your office right now, anyways?" Knitting my eyebrows together, I know that I've got Calvin in the palm of my hand now. He may be good at lots of things; but he's awful at lying to me.

Calvin steps out of the way and let's me into the office. Papers are strung throughout the room, a fresh cup of coffee sits on the edge of the desk, and a framed picture from our wedding day rests beside it. I glance over at Cal, and then slowly ease my way towards the picture.

A sigh passes my lips as I take in the memories caught in the image. We were so happy then. That day, it was like nothing in the world to bring us down or ruin anything.

Calvin reaches over me and plucks the picture from my fingertips. My heart sinks and when I  turn to look at my husband, he looks the exact same as he did when I first met him. His sculpted jaw clenches as he looks at the frame in his hand. He has aged; maybe not physically but deep inside of him something has changed.

All his dreams of finally getting some rest and giving his title to his off spring is crushed. His eyes flick to me, his pupils grow like they always do when he looks at me and a sigh passes through his lips. "I hardly sleep, so I figured I would catch up with my work. What about you, little wolf? Why are you sneaking around the house trying to find me? I know that you're tired, and I know that you sleep, you aren't fully changed yet." His voice is as smooth as honey, and every word he says makes me frustrated, yet drool over his accent.

"You seem off, Calvin." I get straight to the point. "I'm worried about you like a good wife should be. Are you going to tell me or are you going to continue to play dumb and avoid me?" My attitude kicks in and I don't know if it's because I'm tired or truly upset, but at this point I don't care. All I want to know is what's wrong with my husband.

"I don't avoid you, Gray. There's a reason why I don't talk about my feelings. It's not that I don't want to, I just can't quite put them into words." He rubs his temples and rests his elbows on his desk. "It's- just think of it like this. I see you crying all the time because I can't give you what you want. Even when you try to hide it from me, I still hear you. It makes me feel like such a terrible person and I can't stand it. I feel as though as long as I'm around you, you won't be happy. I just...." he lets out a shaky breath, "I just don't think I can make you happy anymore. Not like I used to."

"No, Cal." I swallow, the heartbreak can be felt throughout the room. "You make me so happy-" but yet- something deep down in me tells me different. I feel weird saying it, and I hate to deny the fact that maybe, just maybe what he had just said was true. Maybe we were so excited by one another a year ago, maybe it was the chase- I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that we can't have a baby; that's driven us apart.
I'm so in love with Calvin, but the truth is- I don't think it's going to work out. He and I; I want to say that we're too different or give some lame ass excuse- but there is none. I love him and he loves me, but being together isn't what we need. My heart is in a different place, and the void just can't be filled. He knows that, and I know he's tired of seeing me like this.

His eyes show his age as he looks at me. Everything that he's ever witnessed, every memory of what has made him who he is- shows at this very moment. There's an emptiness in them that wasn't there before. His eyes fall to the floor as he waits for me to say something, but I am left speechless. I know exactly what's going to come of this.
Me telling him that I'm still happy was a complete lie. I'm never happy anymore. Not because of him, but life in general. He has showered me with everything I could ever possibly want; but I still feel empty. I want my parents,to be with them. Talking to my mom would get my mind straight. Yet- I can't. I'll never be able to. So I have to be the big girl and make my own decisions. I swallow my pride and fight the tears in my face.

"What are we going to do?" My bottom lip quivers but I don't let any tears fall. This is life, and now that I'm a Lycan; I'll have to figure out just how to live it. No matter what heartbreak or troubles may come for me. He looks back up at me, and this time; he's actually crying. Calvin, crying. Those words don't belong in the same sentence. My body goes numb and I begin crying myself.

"I don't want a divorce, Gray. I love you with all of my heart. But I want to see you happy. Even if it isn't with me."