Shadows of the marked

12

"Don't worry, Gray." Ben says with a smile of sadness on his face, "you know that he loves you and you'll be well taken care of. you guys just need time to clear your heads. That's all." I quietly wonder if he's right, but I don't let him see my doubt. Ben has a good head on his shoulders. I want to believe him. Whole heartedly. That wont happen though. The only time I'll truly believe it is when it comes true. If it ever even does. Right now, I know Ben is just trying to cheer me up and try to find the good in all of this, but unlike him- I cannot. He's trying his best to be positive about the whole situation. He's being a good friend, and I truly appreciate everything. It isn't what I want to hear, but its for the best. We will find each other again. Hopefully.

A long moment of silence passes before Ben throws this arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a hug. "you'll be alright, Gray. Life just has a funny way of doing things. Just be though and you'll go far." I give Ben the fakest smile to match with all the bullshit coming from his lips. If only he were right. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that Calvin had asked for a divorce. We were fine, I thought. I figured it was just a bump in the road, but apparently to him it was more than that. I never thought he would actually leave just like that. I was so blindsided by my own thoughts and emotions I guess I never really noticed how unhappy I made him each time I cried or anything. I'm so selfish, but I cant do anything to fix my mistake now. I want to run to Calvin and tell him what's on my mind, but I know just as well as he does that now is not the time.

"Ally should be home in an hour or so, so you're stuck with me. Sorry the house is a wreck, Leah is a mess, but you're welcome here for as long as you need. Cal would prefer you to stay here anyways, just in case, but you are not forced to stay here- just do whatever will make you happy." Ben smiles briefly as he grabs my bag off the floor and motions towards the hallway. I only packed a bag because as soon as Cal had broke the news to me, I was so ashamed of myself I just couldn't bare to even look at him. Quietly, I follow Ben down the hallway decorated in images of their happy family. In a matter of moments we end up in the spare bedroom. Its walls are plain except for a few coloring pages that had been scribbled on and a image of Ally and I when we were younger framed on the end table.

Ben grabs a scribbled on piece of paper and a teddy bear off the center of the bed. "Leah drew you this, this morning because she was excited to have you come over to have a sleep over, The teddy bear was my idea, and this one is Leah's favorite. She doesn't share this thing with anyone, not even me, so you must be pretty special to her." He grins. The pink teddy bear is holding a heart to its chest. 'love you more' is written in white on the heart. I smile. I remember giving this to her on her birthday one year. She was so disappointed because all she wanted was Barbie's, but I had gotten her a bear. 'Its a toy for babies' I remember her saying. When I had heard that, my only response was- 'you will always be my baby, until I have one of my own.'

"Leah is the cutest. You're sure that Liam wont bother her? I have a little feeling that she may get a little jealous that she wont be the only baby for awhile." Ben chuckles and shakes his head. "Leah was excited to hear Liam is going to be over. All she talked about on her way to school was how she couldn't wait to be home to show him all of her toys." My smile grows brighter. Ben throws his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. "get some rest, wolfie. I know you need it. I'll come get you when everyone arrives." My smile fades and I quietly just nod my head. I don't want to be left alone. I don't want to sit and be trapped in my own thoughts. Before I can ask him not to leave, Ben lets me go and shuts the door behind him. His footsteps grow quiet, and so does the room.

I sit at the edge of the bed and run my fingers over the comforter. The smell of maple from a scented room spray fills the room. I cant remember the lest time I was here, Nor can I remember the last time I had to fall asleep alone. Lying back in the bed, I shut my eyes and let the cold devour me. I'm not used to being by myself. It hasn't even been twenty four hours and I already hate not having Cal's body wrapped around me to keep me warm. A single tear runs down my cheek as I snuggle against the mountain of pillows. slowly, that single tear turns into many. How could I have been so selfish? How can I still be so selfish to still want to be with him even though I don't make him happy anymore? a million 'what if's' cross through my mind, but none of them beat the thought of if I hadn't been so stuck on having my own baby, we wouldn't have separated. If Calvin alone was good enough for me, we wouldn't be in this predicament. This is all my fault, and because of that we both have to suffer. My world is crashing down around me, and I cant do anything to stop it or save myself. All I can do now is watch it fall- after all, I am the one who destroyed it in the first place. Slowly I fall asleep.

I wake up to a pair of brown eyes looking into mine. They're as innocent as a fawn. "you're awake!" Leah exclaims, cupping my cheeks and smiling widely. Her eyes light up. I grin back at her and pull her into a tight hug. "I've missed you so much" She squeals and shimmies out of my grip before I can squeeze her too tight. Leah pauses and cups my cheeks again. "your eyes are puffy- my eyes are only puffy when I cry- is you ok?" My smile turns into a frown. Even a three year old can see the fact that I'm completely heartbroken. I rub my eyes and let out a quiet sigh.

"I'm ok, Leah, I'm just sad." I pout. Leah cocks her head to the side and knits her eyebrows in confusion. "do you want me to call uncle Cal? He can make you feel better, I know-" She is cut off by Ally. "Leah, enough." Leah looks at her mother and then back at me. "did you guys break up?" Her happiness turns into sadness. "did you guys break up? " her voice cracks and a pout forms on her cute face. My bottom lip quivers. "Mommy bought ice cream, she says that helps your heart when you're sad, do you want some?" She gives me a quick smile. "go have daddy makes you and Gray a bowl, please?" Ally smiles at her daughter, and Leah happily jumps up to run to her dad.

Ally lets out a sigh and sits next to me on the bed. "hey honey," her voice is soft and gentle. Not like it usually is. Ally has always been loud and free spirited. Nothing has ever really made her like this. She is usually the person who recommends a night on the town to just forget anything. Apparently, marriage and a daughter has completely changed her. I look into her eyes and she pushes hair out of my face. "Ice cream is the first step of healing a broken heart" She smiles. "apparently Leah had a little boyfriend at school. We found out about him when she came home crying saying he broke up with her. Ben was completely shocked about her having a boyfriend, it was really funny. We told her ice cream helps and gave her some and right after she was okay-" Ally smiles. "Now she's a firm believer that Ice cream heals a broken heart." I cant help but smile.

Leah comes in carrying a bowl of ice cream, concentrating hard on keeping herself from spilling it. She hands me the bowl of different flavors, and Ben walks in with three other bowls. We all sit on the bed, eating our ice cream. "it's better when you have people you love around you" Ally whispers in my ear. "It's the secret ingredient". I look at the happy family surrounding me, and for once- I finally realized that I had more family than just my parents. At this very moment I feel okay, as if I'm going to be okay. Even if Calvin isn't beside me. I know that I am loved, and I know that's whats going to keep me going for now. "Is Liam here?" I ask quietly. Ally and Ben look between each other and Ally lets out a soft breath. "Ben is going to go pick him up soon, He wanted you to get settled in before we went and got him for you." I sigh out loud, because I know when she said he she didn't mean Ben. nodding my head, I continue eating my ice cream in a comfortable silence. It's embarrassing to know that Cal left me. It's even more embarrassing to have to tell them what happened. The way I had explained it to Ben was simple. I cared too much about myself to see how unhappy he was.

Leah leans against me as she eats her ice cream, making me feel like im doing something right. Even if she is so little, she is one of the only reasons I had agreed to stay in this town. She has always been like my best friend since she was born. Ally has been my bestfriend all my life, and she's so much like her mom I cant help but love her just as much. "thank you guys, so much, for everything". I smile, wiping a stray tear from my eye.

I know that it'll be hard, but it will be okay.