Shadows of the marked

14

Calvin:

"Why the hell would you do that? Do you not get the fact that you're supposed to be leaving her alone?" Benjamin's voice raises as I turn my back to him and focus back down at the map on the desk.

"Benjamin." I warn. My body begins to heat as my wolf begins to feel challenged. I take out my marker and focus in on the map. "He has to be here. Our troops have searched the entire area but somehow we missed this." I point at the little area, an abandoned home- no larger than an one car garage.

"That can wait, Calvin." Ben grumbles. "Why the hell have you been sneaking into my house?" I turn to Benjamin, his eyebrows are knitted and he has a sour look on his face.

"I do not have to explain myself to the likes of you, Beta. Don't push it." Benjamin's facial features harden as he stares at me.

"Calvin. I don't care what I am to you- I'm being a friend and protecting my family. You are not to step foot into my home without my permission." He pauses before collecting himself. "She keep's crying to me about these damn dreams. I can smell you all over her damn room when I walk in there. One day she's going to realize that it really is you and not a dream- and then what? What are you going to do?" He sneers at me.

My heart sinks at the thought of her crying for me. All she has wanted for the past months is just me. Not what I couldn't give her. She has changed and grown so strong without me. I need her to be as strong as possible. This is the only way.

"Unless you want me to rip your head off and you not be able to go home to your child, I'd advise you keep your god damn mouth shut and round up a few tracker's to see what's going on in this area."

"Are you threatening-"

"You're dismissed." I mumble, looking back at the paper map. I hear a huff from Benjamin, a faint chat on the mind link, and then the door to my office slamming shut.

I sit in silence for awhile, wondering why Gray had ever even put up with me. How could she possibly miss me so much that she can't even get out of bed? Is it wrong of me to focus my attention elsewhere- and then make her suffer when I visit her in the early hours of the morning?

All her suffering is being caused by me. I cannot help myself but to be selfish and gaze upon her beautiful face while she's asleep. It kills me to see her cry, and it kills me even more having to leave her. Right now, she's better off without me; although she's suffering time will heal her.

I wish I could feel more, but everything is numb. My emotions had been killed long ago and were replaced by a complete monster. Gray was my only sanity, and now that I do not have her to keep me calm; my anger is like an open flame.

My mind wanders as I think about my mate. Her body trapped in my mind. Every single curve. I cannot take the thought of her soft ample breasts that fit so perfectly in my hand. Nor can the sound of her saying my name when my face is buried between her thighs and her fingers are so tangled in my hair as she begs me for even more.

I grip the desk roughly, hearing it splinter at my fingertips. What I wouldn't do to have that girl on this desk right now, begging me to fuck her like she had used to. To hear her whimper when I first begin because to this day she still isn't used to it. No matter how often we would go about it.

I grumble under my breath and break through my thoughts. "Fuck." The lump in my pants pulses at the thought of her. I can't help but think of how sick of an individual I am for wanting to take Gray to my bed after everything I have done to her. What she needs right now is a friend, but that isn't what me nor my wolf want to give her. I want to be good and do what's best for Gray, but I'm too selfish for even that.