Shadows of the marked

20

"Did you love her?" I break the silence. Calvin runs his fingers over my face and tucks a chunk of hair behind my ear. It isn't angry. It isn't forced. Everything is calm.

"Who?" He wonders, scrunching his eyebrows. His eyes search mine for some kind of answer, and he eventually realizes who I am talking about. He lets out a breath and responds.

"I did." He says softly. "We fall in love with many people in our lives. You are the last love I will meet, for now." He smiles. I knot my eyebrows at him.

"So eventually you'll move on?" I wonder. "Why didn't that work out?" Calvin shrugs his shoulders.

"I will never find anyone that compares to you. The only person I can ever love besides you, has to be like you." He kisses my forehead. He doesn't say another word.

"Can you at least tell me about her?" I wonder out loud. What was she like? What made Calvin want her?

"What is there to tell you?" He wonders back to me, confused. When I do not answer him, he speaks up.  "I figured you already knew."

"Calvin, if I knew the answer, why would I have even asked?" I watch him wet his lips. I sit up and focus completely on him. Why is he acting like this?

"You have a million and one questions, but you already know them. You just have to get in touch with yourself first." He smiles and pokes his index finger to my head.

Out of reaction, I rub my forehead where he had poked me and frown. What does that even mean? I look in Calvin's eyes hoping that he could hint towards a more clear answer.

"I'll just show you some pictures of her." He kisses my forehead and leaves the room without another word. I wonder why he still has those pictures. He has given me absolutely nothing to even wonder about this women. Nothing. It sort of bothers me he still keeps her pictures somewhere. How often does he look back on them?

Moments pass, and Calvin walks into the room with a plain black photo album. He sits down at the edge of the bed and lays the album in front of me. "I've been waiting for you to ask me about my last." He says gently.

My jaw clenches. I do not know why I'm getting so angry over the way he speaks about her. I wasn't even born yet. I have no right to be angry.

He opens it to the first page. My blood boils. It's an old piece of paper with a phone number scribbled on it. There's a name above it.

Zella Mae

I flip to the next page. It's another piece of scrapbook paper that looks like it had come from the office.

Calvin, if you want to see me it would be in your best interest to take me out instead of pretending to be sick just to say hello. You are making so many people worried about your health. See you tonight at 10, don't forget to bring flowers. Xoxo.
Zella. 10.1.88.

Looking up at Calvin, he is reading over the letter as if he is watching the memory of when it actually happened in his head. "I used to go to the local clinic right out of town all the time just because I was so drawn to her. She definitely knew what she was looking for. She made me really nervous." He points out the next page to me. My eyes scan over it quickly.

There are dried pressed flowers, a piece of yellow cloth, and a small polaroid picture. Calvin has put a lot of work into this. I grab the book and pull it closer to get a better view.

It's a picture of the two of them together. Calvin looks quite different with the way he had dressed and done up his hair. He is smiling, holding a bouquet of flowers with a pretty girl on his hip.