The Other Argent

Love Is A Battlefield

        Listen to : Sorry by Daughtry

I only made it a mile down the road before I slammed on the brakes. I threw my truck into gear and I turned around and got out. I wasn't done yelling at him. I need to yell at someone and he did this to my mother. I got out of my truck and slammed the door.

I shoved the door open. "Derek!" I yell. My calm manor erased, he just brought the fire out of me. I walked into the house. Derek turns around from flicking through a book frantically. "I'm not done." I spat. My fists clenched.

"I know." He replies calm and low.

"I trusted you!" I scream through gritted teeth.

"I know!" He yells back his calm manor gone as well.

"How could you do this and not tell me? If I knew I could have talked to her." I try so hard to hold my tears back.

"I was scared for you that whole night. I thought you were dying. I needed to just talk to you and see if you were okay." He matches my on edge tone. I felt hot tears go down my face. "The worst part is that I hurt you. That's not what I wanted and I am so sorry. I never meant to bite her. If I could do anything to make this right, I would." He says hurt written across his face, adding to the already heaviness he wears.

Normally that look what have me in his arms in five seconds. But I can't break not now. I bury down the remorse I feel for him and harden my heart. "I know. But I can't trust you. I don't know if I can ever forgive you." I state in a monotone.

"Don't say that. Please just don't say that." He pleads.

"I hate you." I whisper my eyes burning with tears. He makes me want to cry and scream at the same time. I miss those times when his arms felt like the best place to be. I always thought he would be on my side.

"No don't say that please." He pleads his own voice catching,  hurt at my words like knifes hitting their target.

"I should. I should hate you and want you dead. I can't look at you the same." My voice catches. I am breaking inside. I can't do this. He has this pull on heart.

"But you don't." He states his eyes searching mine for a sliver of hope.

"I always thought that if I lost everyone I would still have you." 

"You still do. I don't want to lose you." He says pleading with me to listen. "It was a mistake that I will regret forever." He continues.  I look away from him tears falling down my face.

He steps closer to me and this time I don't step back. Is it possible to love someone so much then hate them just as strongly?

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry please forgive me." He whispers. He steps closer this time and pulls me into a tight hug. I try to fight but I don't want to. I want to be here with him I want this to feel right again. I want to be us again. I just stand their stunned at first with my hands down at my sides and I put my head on his chest. I don't relax into the embrace or hold onto him, I just stand there. A part of me screams to hold onto him, to tell him I don't hate him, but I can't.

"I'm sorry." He whispers in my hair. I wanted so badly to fight in his arms and let go but he is what I need right now. 

Tears fill my eyes. "I'm sorry but I can't do this." I whisper in his ear. I push him away, he stares at me sadness still in his eyes. I walk away it stings like hell.

 I drive home. What am I suppose to do?

        =

That night I was dragged into the woods by Queen Allison orders to look for any sign of Derek. I nervously held onto my dad on the back of the four wheelers. I had my bow strapped to my back along with me arrows Allison was currently playing a recording of wolves howling. "Play it again." Dad calls to Allison.  She hits it again.