Something Big (Narry)

Chapter 17 - The Weight

  Put you in the past,
Try to forget you 'cause it's over
And every time you ask
I'll pretend I'm okay  

niall's pov

I've made Harry leave. I shouldn't of and I feel really selfish about it, but he's gone now. He's not in the house anymore. 

It hurt me so much; we just had the smallest fight because I questioned him on Zayn, then I said something I shouldn't of and he just left. 

It happened so fast. 

I think I just got pissed you know? The argument was going nowhere, he said he was happier with him. It made me so upset. 

But now I know he's going to go back to Zayn and back to that bar selling himself to strangers. Now I'm just lying in my bed, crying and thinking about how much I've fucked up. It's been two weeks since he's left, two entire fucking weeks.

Louis is gone too though, I've not seen him with Liam for so long, I haven't really seen Liam either though. Sometimes he pops out in the kitchen but I know Louis left him. I can tell.

I decide to go downstairs to make myself a cup of tea, Liam was fidgeting in the living room, staring at me. I just went to the kettle; I have no clue what's up with him. 

"N-Niall?" I hear Liam cough out. I go over to him. 

"Yeah Liam?" 

Liam looks at me, "I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"It's about Harry..." He says. 

I roll my eyes, "Go on." 

"I've been having sex with him, uhm and I think he really misses you. He says your name a lot; whether its while was having sex or when he's asleep. I think he regrets what he did and I'm worried about him." Liam discourses. 

"Okay, well if he's having sex with you he obviously doesn't miss me that much." 

"Niall, we were having sex because both of us are depressed and miss our partners. He's fucking homeless because of you." Liam disputes. 

I just shake my head, "Okay well where is he?" I'm not going to get back with him, but I don't want him to be living on the streets. I should at least help him. 

harry's pov (sorry ik i also hate it when it switches to a different point of view)

I walk down the streets in the cold fresh air. I'm not back into prostitution just yet, I probably will soon but I still have a small bit of me that hopes that Niall will come back and apologise and take back what he said. 

I've never been homeless before, even with Zayn I still had a home. I've been renting out hotel rooms, I don't have any money so I just let the manager do what he wants with me so I can get it. Okay so I might have lied a little bit about not being an escort anymore, but I'm not doing it for money. 

I should've told Niall about Zayn, I should've expected that tabloids would've gotten hold of it. But I didn't and now I'm just in an awful mess and I feel so guilty. 

I haven't stopped crying once, Liam came over a few times to check on me and we somehow both ended up naked and with each other. Every guy I've had sex with though, I've acted like they were Niall. 

I would close my eyes and just pretend it's the Irish's fingers grazing me, his dick pushing into me. It just made me feel so much better. 

I hear a knock on the door, I instantly don't want to open it in case it's the hotel manager or one of his staff who wants more from me. 

But I do open it anyways, and there stands Niall. 

He looks like a wreck, his blue eyes were reddened and puffy, his blonde hair was all tangly and he was sniffling. I probably looked the exact same, maybe even worse. 

He at least looks like he's eating, I don't really eat a lot anymore. 

"Harry, here." He says handing me a key and a credit card. 

"W-What?" I look at him disoriented. 

"It's an apartment key, I don't want you to be out doing all this stuff. And I'll keep the credit card updated so you can buy food and clothes." I just continue to stare at him. 

"I don't want this Niall- I-I want you."

Niall looks at me and I feel my heart start up again, I love him so much. 

The words that followed though, they made my heart break again, it was like he pulled it out of my chest and tore it into tiny pieces. "Harry, I can't do this. You're so bipolar and you keep saying things and then saying something else and honestly, I don't think we should date. It's too much for me." He says, he then steps back to leave, "I'll text you the address."