Something Big (Narry)

Chapter 18 - Like This

"I've been trying to ignore you
Try to go on with my day
But I still pick up the phone, and get lost in what you say"

NIALL'S POV

Texts From: Harry
Niall, I'm not staying in the apartment. I'm going back to Zayn -Sent at 8:19am
I miss you - Sent at 8:21am
Niall - Sent at 9:40am
What gives, you probably changed your number. You don't want me. -10:01am
I'm going to have to go back to the bar, I'm so sorry by the way, but some guy must have stolen your card -12:09pm
I love you, Niall. I wish you knew the truth. -1:05pm

I've been receiving texts from Harry all day, and I don't know why he's blasting my phone? Or why I haven't blocked his number?

Maybe because I like that he's texting me. It's nice, to just have texts to read. 

Twitter has gotten ahold of the fact that me and Harry are broken up; I'm pretty sure he's getting more hate now for it, which isn't good. What happened between me and Harry should stay with us, our personal life isn't anyone's buisness but our own.

I felt the guilt eating me up though, I just feel so bad for Harry. I put him in this place. 

I call the bank up to get my card cancelled so whoever stole it from Harry won't go purchasing things, that money was for him and him only.

  I've seen a bigger goldfish eating at a smaller one. It pecks at the scales until it's kind of naked and vulnerable to infections. That's how the regret is getting me, it's taking a few of my defences at a time. It comes in waves, what I should have done or said differently, what I shouldn't have done at all. I can't undo it, but can I make it right. I just don't know. All I can do is try. 

But how am I meant to try now? I bet if I went to that house Harry wouldn't let me in, and if I went to the bar what if he doesn't want to talk? I fucked things up so much, and there's not much I can do to fix it. 

He kills me in so many ways. 

I think I've lost this fight. I don't think there's any way I can get him back; I guess I'm going down like this.