Everlasting : Dave East x Bernice Burgos

Blast From The Past | 6

Bernice Burgos
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I remember walking out of the doctor's office for the last time, holding hands with my boyfriend of nearly four years: Kevin Clark.

Kevin was an ex-NBA player who'd left the league and went to the army when things weren't really working out how he'd thought they would. I had known him from parties, but never really gave him much attention. When he came home from overseas, he landed a few business deals and somehow found himself in the New York scene.

Our personalities and lifestyles were total opposites, but we somehow gave it a chance. He was a country boy while I was a city girl, he took his time with everything but I wanted everything quick. We seemed to match because everything seemed so perfect between the two of us due to our differences.

We weren't necessarily discussing starting a family, but a part of me knew I wanted to spend my life with with that man. Hell, I️ felt that I was already doing everything that a wife should be doing in our relationship so I felt no wrong in thinking about the long term.

Unexpectedly, I found out that I was pregnant with our first child. I️t was shocking yet so exciting, though it didn't last for long. On my first doctor's appointment, the OB/GYN confirmed that I was seven weeks pregnant but also made it clear that our child's heartbeat was irregular. I️t was too early to directly detect the issue, so we weren't too sure if that could be something minor or life threatening.

Nearly a week after the appointment, I'd began suffering from cramps and heavy bleeding. In such a small amount of time, the baby had been taken away from us.

We were quiet about the situation, since we hadn't told anyone yet but that shit hurt like hell. Our excitement crumbled before our eyes and there wasn't really anything we could do but store the pain away and move on.

Time eventually passed and we were stuck in the same predicament three times. Every time we found out that we were pregnant, I miscarried. None of my doctors in New York could tell me why, even after the all the tests we ran. I tried eating differently, exercising more, relaxing, just anything I could do just to give one of my babies a chance at life.

Walking out of the New Jersey doctor's office, I found out that I suffered from recurrent miscarriages due to elevated uterine natural killer cells (known as NK cells) in the lining of the womb. This indicates deficient production of steroids, which leads to reduce formation of the fats and vitamins that are essential for pregnancy nutrition.

I️t wasn't impossible for me to produce a healthy baby, but without the proper steps, it would be nearly impossible. The doctor was willing to work with us if we were willing to give it another try, but I wasn't too sure about the strength of our relationship at this point.