All Areas Accessed - Sequel to Access All Areas

Chapter Eighteen

Time.

It's something I never really have much of for only me. But I've been learning to get real selfish with what little time I do manage to scrape together for myself. If I'm ever able to catch a moment alone, I use that moment to catch up with Clara. Whether it's via a text, phone call or Skype; I save all of my selfish moments for her.

This past week has been a promotional circus. Between meetings with my marketing team, my record company, talks about possible co-writes, doing the LA chat shows, magazine and radio interviews, and keeping an active promo presence on my social media—life is at full throttle.

Now, I've been politely told to do the whole thing again, but in New York. And unusually, I'm being willingly compliant. At first I refused, but my record company have been pretty cool about Maci, what with arranging for her to go into the new rehab and everything.

So for once, I'm not challenging what I'm told to do. Just as they and Will had explained to me, an overly ambitious reporter has indeed been poking his nose around where it shouldn't be. With the worldwide tour being such a huge success, the last thing anyone wants right now is for my tour to be overshadowed by my sister's long term addiction. So that's why I'm playing ball with my record company, they were right about needing me to distance myself from Maci and promptly packing her off to a rehab.

So here I am, now very much in New York. Existing on a lack of sleep, coffee and the longing to see Clara again.

Just one more week!

Just one more crazily busy week!

That's what I keep telling myself. I've already got through one, I just need to make damn sure I get through the next. Because then, then I'll be with Clara. Me and my girl, can then have some much-needed alone time. And I need that alone time. I need to recharge my batteries. I need to spend time with the one person who has snuck into my heart in the most awesome of ways and has become the entire workings of it. Yeah, I'm tired, but as exhausted as I am, I know that time with Clara will fully replenish me. So this scheduled break honestly can't come soon enough.

All I want is to be with my girl.

For one reason or another, people are pissed with me.

Maci is pissed, because she's been put into yet another rehab.

Mom is pissed, because I wouldn't go and see her and my sister before said sister was put into said rehab, and Don is pissed because mom is pissed at me.

But you know what?

I don't care.

I'm simply doing what I have to do.

I'm just being Rhys Ryan, the chart-topping guy who is the only one who can afford to keep his junkie sister from killing herself.

Who I am, pays for all of her expensive recovery. And like I said, I'm learning to get real selfish with my time. I've had to.

As pissed as my mom actually is, I think deep down she understands. Deep down, she knows my reasons for needing to stay away from Maci. Both from a professional and a personal standpoint, she understands. She has seen the resentment between myself and Maci, painfully grow over the years. If my sister hadn't chosen drugs over everything else, I believe she would have been a pretty amazing and special person.

But she didn't. She chose to walk another path, so she'll never be that amazing and special person. I think that chance has gone.

Mom thinks it's not too late for Maci. I already know that it is.

My funny, talented and protective big sister has been degraded by drugs. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. The degradation has been too awful to watch. The more I have been losing Maci, the more I've had to pull away. It's all I can do. I refuse to stand by and watch more of that degradation happen right in front of my brotherly eyes.