All Areas Accessed - Sequel to Access All Areas

Chapter Thirty Three

My eyes snap open and my heart starts thumping with panic against my rib cage. It's dark and Clara is nakedly wrapped around me as my ears start registering why I'm feeling so panicked—the phone, the phone is ringing! With shaky hands, I reach across Clara and the bed to answer "Yeah." I'm not quite awake as I gruffly talk into the receiver.

"Oh Rhys! Maci! She's gone! I slipped into her room to check on her, and she's gone. I don't know where. Oh god, Rhys...I don't know where she is!"

Still not fully awake, I'm trying to piece together all that mom is hysterically telling me. "How?" I ask, all groggy and totally unprepared for this conversation. Slam had the extra security all sorted, so I'm quietly trying to understand what has gone wrong.

"I don't know, Rhys! I checked her at around midnight, and she was fast asleep." Mom is frantic—fearful and frantic.

Looking at the clock, I realise it's 4:24 AM. Now more awake and with my own panic starting to pump around my body, I quickly sit up. "Didn't anyone see her?" My question is abrupt, more abrupt than intended.

Mom is crying now. "No! No one has seen her. Not even the security crew that you decided to not tell me about. Don found the back door unlocked, so we think she's left from that way."

Knowing that my mother is confused, devastated and beyond worried, I try to soothe her from my end. "Mom, just stay calm...I'll come right over." Switching on the bedside light, I then aim for my wardrobe; needing to grab the first clothes that come to hand. "Please don't worry." Is my next stupid instruction as I agitatedly pull clothes out in a panicked hurry. "We'll find her, okay?" As I am hurriedly throwing clothes down onto the bed, it's the first time that my anxious eyes settle on Clara's. She looks so tired and afraid as she stares up at me from where she uncomfortably sits against the headboard of the bed. Needing to get off the line so I can get dressed, my words come out in a perturbed rush. "Listen, I'll be there, soon. Bye." Without giving mom a chance to say another thing, I have already hung up on her. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I just need a moment—a moment to just take a breath, to clarify what the hell has happened, and a moment to just calm down before I get dressed—I just need these moments.

From behind me, Clara's timid voice can be heard. "What's happened, Rhys?"

Starting to pull on my sweatpants, I quietly answer her. "Maci is gone. She snuck out the back so no one saw her leave." At this point, I feel 100% to blame. I knew this might happen, and yet, I still let it happen. Preoccupied with the anger and the blame, I look away from Clara as I pull a sweater down over my head. "I have to go."

"Do you want me to come?" Her reply emotionally echoes across the room.

Clambering across the bed to reach her, I place a chaste kiss on my girls warm forehead. "No, go back to sleep."

But Clara is trying to be there for me. "I won't take long to get dressed." She thoughtfully announces, but I'm just too disappointed in myself, and my sister, to accept that help.

Looking her right in the eye, my reply is unequivocal and hurtfully sharp. "Clara, it's fine...just go back to sleep." And as sharp and as unemotional as I am wrongfully being, Clara simply smiles back at me with only acceptance and understanding. With everything that I'm already feeling; now, I'm feeling completely unworthy of Clara.

Guilt steadily rips through me, so I make sure I leave on a softer and more grateful note. "I'll see you later." Then I smile at her; a smile that lifts the corners of my mouth with the very same guilt and unworthiness that I felt mere moments before.

I'm now a destructive mix of anger, blame, disappointment, guilt and unworthiness, as I head out into the early morning hours to try and find my foolish and tragic sister. With the heaviest of feet, a determined mind and an uneasy heart, I grab my keys, my baseball cap and my wallet, before calling all the guys to meet me at my moms. From there, we can start coordinating things.