All Areas Accessed - Sequel to Access All Areas

Chapter Nineteen

Hey, I'm out with Jo and Kim tonight. A girlie night at the cinema and a few drinks after. Won't be home to take your call later on, so I shall miss that very gorgeous face of yours. We are crashing at Kim's, so I'll call you tomorrow. Just need to let my hair down, Rhys. I miss you so much. It's really quite pathetic just how bad it has got. Hope you have a great evening as well. Speak soon, love and squishy big hugs, Clara xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shit! Something is wrong.

Reading Clara's text is giving me a really bad feeling.

When I spoke to her last night, I knew something wasn't right. I could hear it in her voice and I felt it in my heart.

This past week has been tough. Unbearably tough.

We are two people who are having to be apart, at a time when we've only just discovered that we want to be together. It has sucked, it really has. But I thought we were getting through it. It hasn't been ideal, but we've been pushing through the one week, knowing that we only have one more to push through until we see each other again.

Is she having doubts?

Have her feelings changed?

Maybe she doesn't want to come to LA now?

My rational thoughts are being coerced by my overpowering and irrational ones.

Just stay cool, Rhys.

Don't overreact just yet.

Are what the rational thoughts calmly tell me to do. So lifting my cell from out of my pocket, I send Clara yet another text. Although I'm quietly panicking, I'm trying not to let that be fed into the text I'm just about to send her.

Hey, have fun tonight!

I just need to know that you're okay. Your text sounded like you were down, please don't be, baby. Just text or call to let me know you're okay. I don't want you thinking that being apart from you is any easier for me over here, because it isn't.

I miss you so much. Damn, I miss you!

Love and lyrics, Rhys xxxx

Inhaling a slow and careful breath, I quickly send my message to her.

It's thoughtful, without sounding desperate.

It's caring and sweet, without sounding needy.

It's honest, without sounding flippant.

I just want Clara to know that I understand how she's feeling. I'm sensing that she just needs some time out. At least, that's what I'm hoping it is. She just needs a little space. To catch a breather. Hence why I've only text her. I don't want to hound Clara, I just want to assure her that this is no damn picnic for me either.

So I'm glad I have a busy day. A busy day means I'm kept occupied, and shit, I need to be kept occupied. Because when I am, I don't notice the missing of Clara so much. When I have too much time to think, I start missing her all over again. It's an all consuming kind of missing that sneakily creeps into my veins whenever my mind isn't doing it's Rhys Ryan thing. My girl thinks that she's the one who is pathetic, but it's almost emasculating just how pathetic I often feel without her.

Just get a grip!

Live up to those Rhys Ryan balls you have!

Nothing is wrong!

Clara will get back to you soon!

My thoughts are turning all kick ass on me—strong, fearless and confident—and I need those kick ass thoughts.

I'll keep them with me for the rest of the day. I know my girl, she'll contact me just as soon as she can. So why am I worrying?

Nothing. You shouldn't be worrying about a single thing.

I'm so firmly told by those insanely awesome thoughts of mine.

Yeah, why am I worrying?

Why think that's something is wrong when things are going right?

Maci is safe where she is.

I'm riding on the tail end of a hugely successful worldwide tour.

And the girl that I'm continuing to fall for will be joining me in just a week.

Yeah, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.