All Areas Accessed - Sequel to Access All Areas

Chapter Twenty One

It's dark.

It's quiet.

Yet sleep hasn't come at all.

For hours now, I've been alternating between closing my eyes and thinking about Clara, to having my eyes open whilst staring at the shadowed ceiling whilst thinking about her. Either way, has been quietly torturing me. I'm beginning to think that she just couldn't do this anymore. She just couldn't be a part of us anymore. If she had talked to me about it, at least then, I could have tried to talk her out of it. Or maybe she knew that? Maybe she knew I would talk her out of it, which is why she's suddenly cut all forms of communication with me?

All I wanted was to see Clara. To spend some quality time with her at Echo Lake. That's all I've been looking forward to. Now, I have nothing to look forward to. Rolling over on my stomach, I angrily puff up my pillow and plonk my head down onto it. My temples actually ache. They ache with total exhaustion. I need sleep. I need to close my eyes and just stop fucking thinking. As I take slow and depressed breaths, the darkness of the room soon becomes awash with light from my silenced cell phone that's on the table beside the bed. With my sore eyes wearily squinting, I can see that I've just got a message from Clara.

I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to ignore you. I just needed to work through some stuff in my head. My mobile was switched off, so I haven't seen your messages and calls until now. I'm so sorry if I've worried you. I really am okay. I'll talk to you later.

Miss yoooooooou!

Clara xxxxxxx

I'm struck with a nauseous and overwhelming kind of relief.

She's okay.

She's finally got back to me.

We're not over.

My relieved thoughts hurl themselves around my head. Flinging themselves against the exhaustion that has also taken up residence inside of there. As the relief slowly sinks into my bones, I just need to lie here for a little while longer. I just need to collect all of my abated thoughts. I didn't think I was going to hear from Clara again. I had convinced myself of that. Now here she is, her name and message popping up on my cell. I'm happy, yet afraid.

Happy, to just hear from her.

Afraid, because I'm so happy to hear from her.

My feelings for Clara are far bigger than I ever imagined. I realise that now. This girl has imprinted herself on my heart and mind. She has crawled beneath my skin and has quickly become part of my DNA. Without her, I feel like something is missing.

That, scares me.

That, excites me.

Half of myself is still strangely angry with her for dragging me through complete hell, the other half is dizzy with jubilance and tiredness. Needing to hear her voice, I am soon calling Clara right back.

"Hello?" She sounds surprised, almost apprehensive.

On a really tired drawl, I greet her with a restrained. "Hey."

Her voice is tenderly soft, yet still a little apprehensive. "Hey." She carefully replies, seemingly awaiting me to say what she knows I have to say.

"So you've decided to no longer ignore me?" The hurt, the anger, the total relief; it falls tiresomely from out of my mouth.

Clara's voice becomes quieter. "I wasn't ignoring you." She sounds guilty, I hear it plainly in her voice.