why?!

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by zinniowl

by zinniowl

{Y/ns pov}

I woke up in a FUCKING HOSPITAL!!!! Why?! Why? Does life want to torture me. I looked around the room and i was about to sit up but my chest hurt.
I looked and i saw bandages on my chest.
A few minutes later a docter came in and smiled. "Good morning, how are you feeling?" She asked. "Like shit." I said annoyed. "I saw your record and you took a psychological test right?" She asked and i nodded.
She flipped threw the pages on her clipboard and her eyes changed from calm to suprised. "Ahem, ill be right back." She said and left the room. My anger quickly changed from mad to curious. 'What did she see on that board? My suicide count?' I thought.
A few more minutes later she came back into the room.
"Well im now looking at your records and with the psychological test it looks like you have a mood disorder." She said and my eyes widened. "This probably apart of the act of suicide. One minute your happy and than the next minute your put killing yourself." She looked even more sad and she looked up at me. "And also your bipolar." She said and i felt broken.
'Life just wants to torture me. This is my punishment for being selfish. Im so selfish. Im selfish for trying to leave my mom when i knew it would hurt her even more than i hurt myself.
And this is my punishment. For being selfish. I dont want to be cared about. I pretended to be happy around tim so he wouldnt waist his energy on me. And yet, he went with the football players, i got mad the next day, he got mad also, i attempted again, he spent his energy on me, and he went home that night i came home from the hospital,he killed his parents the next day, and i saw his clothes. This is life saying you should've been honest.'
(This was kinda a reference to doki doki literature club but i had to go along with the story.)

But then i really started to think.
'Wait, i was out in the middle of ghe woods. My mom wouldnt know where to look. So either someone found me or the bullies called the ambulance. Were the bullies even there? Or was it someone...or something els?'
"Miss? Are you okay?" I was snapped out of my trance when the docter tried to get my attention.
"Who found me." I blurted out and she smiled "a nice man found you in the middle of the woods. He quickly brought you here. He claimed that he didnt have his car and had to run all the way here." I nodded "did he say his name?" I asked and she shook her head.
She left the room to go get my mom. I didnt want to see her. She walked into the room with bags under her eyes and bloodshot eyes. "I was crying nonstop. You almost died." She said and hugged me. I hugged back and started crying. "I- im sorry. B- but i cant l-live like this a- anymore." I whimpered. "Yes you can. But im sorry." She said and i was confused.
"Why are you s- sorry?" I asked and she bit her lip and more tears fell from her eyes.
"Docter?" She called, and the psychologist came in. My eyes widened. "What going on?!" I demanded. "You are bipolar and have mood disorder that stuff you possibly already know. But me and your mother have decided to either put you in rehab or a mental hospital." He said and My eyes widened.
"No mom p- please." I begged. "Im sorry." She said and looked at the docter and back at me. "Im going to have to say mental hospital." She said.
'There had to be something bigger. They're hiding something.' I thought.
"What are you hiding!" I demanded and they both looked at eachother and sighed.
"Listen, the amount of times you have attempted suicide had damaged your brain cells. You shouldn't even be alive right now. Some people who are like you who have survived suicide attempts they damaged all they're brain cells and were put in mental hospitals to be kept under high security. You will be put on suicide watch. Im sorry but its the only way to keep you safe." He said and i felt like the world was crumbling around me.

《Time skip going to the mental hospital》

When i left my sentence was 10 years in here. Greeaaat! I got to the mental hospital and i was escorted to my room. When i got there i saw a very dirty bed, an almost shattered mirror, and concrete walls.
When i was getting settled in i heard screaming.
"IM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IM HERE! YOUR LYING TO US! LET ME GO! LET GOOOO!" I heard a man scream. My heart dropped. He looked about my age and he was thrown back into his room. Or cell like room.
I heard banging on my door. "Common, your not supposed to be on your room right now!" The gaurd yelled and i opened my door and i left.
I went to the hang out room i think its what its called. And i saw alot of people my age and they're necks looked aweful. This is a nightmare. WAKE UP!