shawn mendes imagines

I almost do

A/n I tried to post this earlier but it didn't appear on people feed so I hope it works nos

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May i really don't feel like going to a party tonight. Mostly a party that Shawn may go to. I said to my friend may.

Come one y/n you have been a mess since you broke up with Shawn. May said while looking for something to wear in my closet.

And you think getting drunk at a party that my ex boyfriend is going to go will make me feel better? I said

It won't make you feel worse.Plus there will be a ton of people and you can even flirt with a few guys make him jealous... May said with a smirk in her face

Something in the moment made me think it was a good idead.

You know the moment on the movies were they give the nerdy girl a makeover and she looks amazing. Well that's kinda what may made did with me.

And I have to give it to her I looked good.

I walked in not expecting a big party with million of people but I really wasn't expecting just a few of our friends in the in a small group.

I looked around seeing all the familiar faces. I tried lying to myself saying i was looking around to see who's here but I was looking for him... I was looking for Shawn

May babe what the fuck is happening? I asked with a I'm going to kill you voice while still looking for him.

We all just wanted to hang out like the old days you know? May said smiling at me with a please don't kill me look on her face

Whatever. I said getting frustrated that I haven't seen him yet. Is he not here? Is he coming late? Why is he coming late? Is he bringing someone? Is he even going to come?
~~
I said hi to everyone

I went to the the kitchen/ dinner area to get something to drink.

And there he was... he was looking out at the city.

He..ey. I blurted out

He stood there like a ghost for a few seconds.

Hey. I said with a cold tone that make my heart drop.

I decided to just get my water and leave.

I reached for a water bottle and started walking to the living room when Shawn stoped me

Y/n wait... Shawn said not really sure about he's decision.

I turn around and just looked at him. I bite my lower lip... I was nervous he knew that... he hated that, he hated that she felt uncomfortable talking with him.

Why? He said still not looking directly at me

Why what Shawn? I said knowing but not wanting to admit it.

Why did you break up with me. He said firmly without any chases. He wanted to get to the point.

It was for the best Shawn. I did it for you. I did it for me. I did it for the chance that one day we wouldn't hate each other. I said

I would never hate you! Shawn said immediately.

We don't know that Shawn. All I know that it's the best for you. I said

You know nothing about me! Shawn said in a louder tone.

I bet I know quite a bit about you. I said

Let's see then. He said still in a agresiva tone.
=
I bet this time of night you're still up. Ibet you're tired from a long hard week. I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city... And I bet sometimes you wonder about me. I said while he couldn't even look at me

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you.
Cause each time you reach out there's no reply.

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you and risk another goodbye. I said in tears.

And I confess babe, In my dreams you're touching my face and asking me if I wanna try again with you.

And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you...and I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't I almost do,I almost do.

He hasn't even looked at me one

I bet this time of night you're still up. I bet you're tired from a long hard week.I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city... and I hope sometimes you wonder about me. I said taking a long breath at the end
=

I still don't understand... Shawn said but I cut him of before he could end

Come on Shawn! We both couldn't handle it! Between concerts and times zones it was impossible for us to connect... it made us frustrated with the world. It was taking a toll on your career and my school work. I couldn't continue living with the hate and you hated yourself for it. It's not like we had a picture perfect relationship. I said

Maybe one day in the future when both of our life's are sustainable we can get together again but for now we can just look back at the memories and remember the beauty of first love.

~~~
Kinda inspired on something Loren liked on insta and I almost do by Taylor Swift lol = the part where you see this is pure lyrics from the song hahaa  okay hope you liked it!

Bye little munchkins

Btw it's 4am! Someone help me!