Love is a Verb (Riley/Before You Exit)

Advices

Kaitlin

I woke up feeling sick but I have to wake up.. I groaned and went out of my bunk. Somebody decided to go down without even looking to make sure he isn't going to squeeze someone.

And that someone is me.

"Ow." I landed on my butt.

"Oh! Sorry Kaitlin." Connor helped me up.

"It's fine." I waved him off then I went to the restroom. I don't feel good.

We are on our way to our next stop. We just used the tour bus so I'm being lazy and I'm just in my sweatpants and a hoodie.

"I'm really sorry for sitting on you."

"You sat on Kaitlin?" Toby emerges out of the bunk lounge.

"Accidentally. He was going down from his bed." I muttered.

"Oh. Hey Connor .. Want to try the app flappy bird?"

"Sure..."

Few minutes later, they both sat beside me and are screaming at each other.. Man.

"Ssshhhhhh!"

"This is hard."

"I don't care. Just tone down your voice a bit." I told them. I used a pillow and put on Connor's lap. I'm feeling nauseous.

"You okay?"

"I guess. Still sleepy." I lied.

"Sleep then. Promise I won't let you fall when we hit the brakes." I chuckled and I start to feel my eyelids getting heavier. Connor was playing with my hair.. Soo...

Riley

I woke up a bit late and I did my usual routine. I was on my way to the kitchen when I saw....

Kaitlin and Connor.

Ouch

She was laying her head on his lap and he had his hand on her hair probably lacing it through the think and soft strands of Kaitlin's hair. I should be doing that. Insert sadness here.

"I bet it sucks to be you right now." I heard Toby sung.

"Yea. It does sucks."

"So, tell me what made you cheat." He said it in a hush voice.

"I didn't cheat on her. It was just.. That fan was really happy and I didn't want to burst her bubble of joy.. She.. She was supposed to go to rehab.."

"Rehab?" His eyes were wide with curiosity in it. Okay. Here it goes. Tell him.. Just tell him.

"Yes.. That girl was bulimic.. She was bullied and all.. It reminded me of Kaitlin but she didn't handled it like Kaitlin did.. She didn't want to go to rehab not until she met me.. Her sister.. I think she was the one that send me the mail.. So I obliged to it.. Thinking that maybe it wasn't a bad idea.. That I can help them.. But it turns out she saw what happened." I finally told the truth.. I sighed.

"Wait, why didn't you say that to Kaitlin?"

"Because I saw the pain in her eyes.. That tore me apart.. And then all these thoughts came saying that I can hurt her even more.. I can't stand that.. I cannot accept the fact that I can do something that might hurt her even more.. It scared me.. That's why I lied. That's why I ran away from that fear.." Tears starts to fall down.. Sorry guys.. Riley's being emotional.. I mean.. I'm being emotional..

I looked at Toby. He looked lost for words and then his face softened.

"You love her so much, don't you?" I nod my head. "Tell her that then.. No one in this world can have a perfect relationship because that will be boring. You can't remove the hurt or the fights because those are the things that makes the relationship even stronger.. Riley, I understand that you're scared but are you going to let that word tear you apart from the person that you love the most?" He smiled at me then left.. Yea, my younger brother is the one who's giving me an advice now. This sucks.

I looked over to Kaitlin and saw her moving .. She was about to fall so I ran over to her and I caught her in time. She opened her eyes. I could've sworn Connor was here a while ago.

"Ohh.. Uh. Thanks Riley."

"No problem." I kissed her forehead then I realized.. "Oh! I'm sorry." I helped her up.

"It's fine."

"No it isn't." She laughed a bit then she stood on her tippy toes and kissed my nose.

"There you go. Now we're even." She walks away. I would lie if I say that I didn't felt anything .. I felt everything. The effect that she has on me... I wish I could just run to her and never let her go...

"You know it's not polite to stare, right?" I looked to my right and saw Connor looking at me. I jumped a bit. Mushroom.

"Uh yea?"

"Bro, think it over first, okay?" He gave me a smile and then he ventured off to the back lounge. His words echoing...

It has been a few weeks since we broke up and so far... Me and Kaitlin are on good terms.. I still love her but I'm giving her space.. That's what they told me anyway and I think they're right about it. I mean, I can't hurt her anymore. She's been distant and it hurts but I have to deal with it. It's my fault anyway.

"Hey guys have you seen Kaitlin?..I lost my charger and ... yeah." Thomas asks us.. We were in a hotel..

"She's with Perrie today.." I told him..

"How'd you know?"

"I saw Kaitlin this morning when she was about to go out.. Perrie invited her for some girl time, I guess."

"Oh.. Alright. Atleast I now know.."

"Thomas, are you still angry at me?" Thomas stopped walking. He stared at me for a minute then turned his head..

"No, why should I? I mean, at first I was mad.. I couldn't believe that you did that because I was so supportive of your relationship because I know you'll take care of her and I could see in her eyes that all her fears are starting to fade... Until.. You guys broke up.. The sparkle in her eyes and her bright personality vanished.. She was still smiling but barely.. Just for a show.. She tries not to cry about it but I would see her in the back lounge every night, crying or staring into nowhere.. She was lost and distraught. That's why I got mad but then again, I understand your reason. It was invalid and pathetic but I understood.. You thought that it would save her from the pain.. But you know what? It won't because you're her medicine, Riley. You're her will to go and move forward. You're her soldier. Yes, I quoted your song because that was the most appropriate word that I could muster up at this moment.. We may be all of her will to go on and live life but you're her most powerful medicine but you let her go.. I'm not angry at you anymore .. I have no right but I liked the fact that you gave her space instead of running back.. Funny how she made us think backwards.. But it's fun. She makes life worth it." He smiled. "So now that I'm done with my speech.. I expect you to think wisely and use both the brain and heart to work everything out between you and Kaitlin." He patted my shoulder and then he walked away. Lots of people are giving me speeches right now.. I understand all of them but there's nothing I can do right now except to give her space.. They're right, all of them..

(End of Chapter)

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AAH. Hey.

Riley is sad :(. Nawww

- author