Fading In The Rain | Bughead

25: "My Painful Past"

TW: sexual assault.

"What is it?" Jughead asked, noticing my blank stare as I looked off into space, lost in thought. "Am I really beautiful?" I asked unintentionally. "Or are you just biased because this is exactly what you wanted this whole time?" I asked without even thinking that. Of course, that's not what he wanted, I knew that. "What?" Jughead asked as he looked at me confused. "Oh, don't even!" I sat up in the bed, still holding the sheets. What the hell was going on.

"The only reason you dealt with me was so that one day you would finally get me right where you wanted me, right? Because that is what every single guy does. You are just like every other guy!" I yelled, tears in my eyes and rolling down my cheeks by the end of my sentence. I could tell for a second Jughead was angry and that he wanted to yell at me, and I couldn't blame him...I was being a bitch. Instead, he looked at me concernedly and asked a haunting question.

"Betty, is there something that you're not telling me? Did something happen?" I looked at him and surprising didn't experience a hurricane of tears and begin uncontrollably sobbing. Instead, I managed my tears to a reasonable level and began to speak. "You know why I never really talk about Archie? Why I haven't seen him in so long? I never told you this because I knew it wouldn't sound great on my behalf." 

"Last year, Archie started to get close to me. Closer than we'd been and I was so blinded by what I thought I wanted that I allowed it. I mean, this was my childhood best friend, he wouldn't hurt me, right? Well, he did. One night, he invited me over to his house to study. When I got there, he was nowhere in the house, but then I got a text telling me to go out back, so I did. When I did, I saw him in the hot tub, just chilling." I could hear my voice cracking, but this needed to be said.

"So I asked him if he was going to get out so that we could study, but instead, he invited me in. So I was all like, 'I don't have a suit,' but he just said that I could just wear my bra and underwear. Of course, I was unsure, but he told me that I was making it a lot more awkward than it needed to be and that it was fine because we were friends. So I agreed, but when I got in, I almost immediately felt his hand on my leg." It was getting worse.

"I was trying to not focus on it, so I tried to change the subject by asking him what he wanted to study with me and he looked at me...and said anatomy." I was crying even more now, but I couldn't stop. I had to tell somebody, even if it meant conjuring up my painful past. "His hand slid up higher on my leg and I told him that I was uncomfortable and that I didn't want this. And I tried to scoot away, but he had a grip on my leg that kept me in place."

"I looked at him and he said, 'Betty, calm down. We're just chilling. It's all just for fun.' And I was begging him, saying, 'Arch, stop,' but he didn't listen. And so he leaned in and I pushed him away and tried to get out, but he grabbed my waist and held me down to where I couldn't move. I kept trying, I was trying s-so har-hard to fight him off. I couldn't. And while he was...doing this to me, he kept saying, 'This is what you want. You want this. You want me."

I was full out sobbing now and Jughead didn't hesitate to pull me quick into his embrace. "I didn't want it," I mumbled. Jughead's hands were stroking my hair and I could hear his shaky breaths. I pulled away from our embrace and laid my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You are not like every other guy, and you are definitely not like that fucking monster," I cried. "Betty, I am so sorry that that happened to you. If I would've known--" I cut him off.

"You couldn't have. I never told you. I'm sorry," I couldn't believe I had told this to him. I shouldn't have. I remembered crystal clear what would happen if I told anyone. I just never thought I'd have to ever tell anyone. I probably shouldn't have. "This has been traumatizing me for a straight year," I said. "It's not your fault. I know what I'm going to do," Jughead said. "What?" I asked, concerned. His answer terrified me: "I'm going to kill Archie Andrews."    

Hey guys! I know this chapter was a lot to take in, but hopefully you guys enjoyed! bye.