[ you're pretty ]
july 18th, 2008
ages; 14
i don't know if there's a worse feeling than being in the middle of a fight with your best friend.
it was almost two weeks after our birthday, and we'd thrown one party for the both of us, so we didn't have to bother with two. we invited, well, everyone. our parents pitched in together to rent this little party place and it was really cool.
my boyfriend of now six months had gotten me a necklace and i wore it everyday. mikey got me a giftcard to forever 21 and cal just gave me money. ashton, however, wouldn't tell me what he got me and was saving it for after the party. i'd begged him to just give it to me at the party, but he refused. i shrugged and went to talk to someone else.
after the party, i was twirling around, dancing and laughing with luke. my dress was really loose and spinny, blue the color of the sky. the converse on my feet making the outfit more me.
ash showed up and smiled, gesturing for us to go. the party place was so close to home that our parents agreed we could just walk and spend the night at ash's as long as we stayed together. luke rocked back and forth on his toes shyly before leaning over and nervously kissing my cheek. my cheeks still heated when he did that.
"did you have a nice birthday?" ashton asked and i smiled widely, nodding. "so, look. i want to tell you something, and you have to pinky promise not to tell luke. or anyone. even jada, okay?" something that i couldn't even tell jada had to be pretty important. i nodded and chewed on the corner of my mouth, a habit i'd picked up a bit ago.
we were just about to his house. i had my stuff all in his room and we were just gonna' stay up all night. we said 'hi' to his mum on the way in and she said it back, giving us some cookies and milk. i loved ashton's mum.
he lead me to his room and we went in, plopping down onto his king sized bed. i ate a cookie, swallowing it down with some milk, when he said the words that i regret hearing.
"i'm in love with you."
i choked on my milk and put it down, coughing from my sudden sputter. he looked at me worriedly, reaching over to pat my back, but i tensed and shook his hand off. he looked hurt, but tried to brush it away. my heart raced in my chest.
wishing i could just change the subject and we'd be okay, i looked away. "you can't be," i said and he shook his head, moving towards me. he laid down next to my body, really close, so close i felt his warmth. his breathing on my cheek. his hand on my wrist. his fingers touching my jawline to make me face him.
the air i had in my lungs hitched and i gulped harshly. "why can't i?" he asked innocently and i couldn't breathe. "luke doesn't love you, maels. i do."
i stood up abruptly and looked down at him, frowning at his surprised expression. "you keep saying that, ashton, but he does," i spat and moved over to my bag and pulling a hoodie over my dress, then shorts on under the skirt part, before sliding the dress off altogether. it was a skill you had to master.
he stood up also and cornered me, his hands on either wall. his eyes searched mine for sincerity and he had to have found some, right? i duck under his arm and into the openness of his room. "stop running, maely," he groaned and i turned to him.
"what do you want? do you want me to tell you that i'm in love with you, too? because i'm just... not."
i could see the obvious impact my words had on him as he stalked towards me and pushed his unmoving lips onto mine. was he trying to trigger some reaction out of me? i wouldn't kiss back, obviously. my hands found his chest and i shoved him forward, his back hitting the wall. i grabbed my new cell phone and blinked at him before rushing out of the room.
