2014
"you know," ashton started, placing a chaste kiss on my lips, "we've been together for practically twenty years. if you don't count all of the shit that went down. i mean, i think we loved you since we came out of the womb that one night."
"oh, yes," i said sarcastically, giggling slightly as his curly hair tickled my neck. he kept pressing small kisses to almost every inch of my skin because he was in one of his touchy moods. "that one night where the only thing separating us after birth was a thin curtain and our mothers' arms." ashton laughed breathily against my collarbone.
he moved so he was laying on top of me. "i wrote a song about you," ashton mumbled, his head pressed into my neck. "it's called never be and, i don't know, i thought about you while i was writing it with the boys." i smiled widely into the air, raking my fingers through his hair as i thought about what it might be about.
"will you sing it to me?" i asked hopefully.
and he said exactly what i expected he would. "you're coming to our show tonight, right? we're performing it for the first time and i want you to be there to hear it," he smiled and i sighed in content. currently, 5 seconds of summer had hit it big and were doing concerts almost every single day until next summer, when they have a break and we get time to ourselves. "i want to tell everyone that we're official."
"they know?" i questioned. it was true, the boys and management had known about us for the year that we'd been together. "who's there to tell? everyone pretty much knows."
"i don't know, i want to, like, announce it from rooftops and tell the world," he whined against my skin. we sat there like that for a while, his eyes closed as he traced patterns on my hip and pressing his lips to mine briefly. "i love you."
"love you, too, ashton."
2018
my fists clenched at my sides as ashton breathed heavily, staring at me with a red face. we were in the middle of a fight about babies. "it's the perfect time," i said as calmly as i could considering i wanted to rip his head off.
"but i don't want one, maely," he shouted.
"you say it like you'd even be here to take care of him or her! like you wouldn't be touring with your stupid band their entire life!" i cried, throwing my arms in the air. i placed my hands on my face and tried so hard not to cry.
ashton stared at me for a long time. "why are we even talking about this? it's out of the question, maely!" he said before turning around and beginning to walk towards the kitchen. i licked my lips and watched him reach into the fridge, grabbing a beer. "i can't believe you'd even want a baby. we're twenty-four for fucks sake. that's just a stupid idea anywa-"
"ashton, i'm pregnant."
he spit out his beer all over the carpet but i was too exhausted to care. the color in his face drained and i sniffled, feeling like crying. he walked past me, grabbing his coat and heading out the front door. i couldn't move. as he pulled away in his truck, i dropped onto the couch, my knees to my chest.
how could he not want a baby? we were at the high point in our life and we had loads of money coming in from the band and we had a nice house and we were happy. i didn't think that this surprise pregnancy would impact ashton so much, and i didn't think he'd storm off alone. but i definitely didn't think i'd be crying on the couch after i told him. i fell asleep at around midnight with dry, sticky tears on my cheeks and my throat sore.
-
the front door opened at six in the morning and i sat up, clutching the couch pillow to my chest. ashton walked into the living room and his mouth fell open slightly when he saw me.
