[ asdfghjkl ]
june 12th, 2013
ages; 18
"and luke is so delicious, i'm telling you, i want to literally lick him up and down."
i pretended to laugh at my new best friend hannah as she discussed her new favorite band, 5 seconds of summer. ironic, yes, that i'd become friends with someone who had somewhat of an obsession with my evil ex.
she flipped through her magazine and lifted a poster of the devil himself, ashton. "i think ashton's my favorite, you know? his laugh is super yummy," hannah giggled.
no, hannah did not know of my history with the boys, and i didn't want her to. she'd flip out and probably die if i told her i kissed the lips of both luke hemmings and ashton irwin, her idols. i didn't stop her from talking about them either in case it raised suspicion.
"you know what, maely?" she exclaimed suddenly, smiling through her braces. "i was gonna' take emily, but since you seem to like 5 sauce, too, i want to take you to the meet and greet."
my stomach started doing that flippy thing and i shook my head vigorously. "no, han, you take emily," i said, my voice suddenly strained.
"whoa, moodswings. what's your prob?"
should i tell her? oh god oh god oh god. "i used to date ashton," i blurted before i could think things through and i wanted to fucking punch myself in the face. hannah laughed and i felt heat rising to my cheeks. "han, i'm not even kidding you."
she pursed her lips. "you're so full of shit."
i leaned over from my spot on the floor to under my bed where my photos were kept in their little tin. i removed the pictures from where i went to new york, and the ones from the concert i went to with jada by a band i don't even remember, and got to the big stack of me and ashton pictures.
hannah's eyebrows furrowed as i chucked them in her direction and she looked through them, her eyes widening by the second. i caught a glimpse of a photo of me and him by the pool, i'd stolen his sunglasses and i was shooting a west side sign at the camera while he scowled. then there was another from when my mum saw us asleep on the floor cuddling and snapped a picture. and there was when we'd played in the rain and my dad insisted he took a photo to show us how stupid we looked with our hair dripping and our clothes clinging to our bodies. and my personal favorite, one from just before he left and my hair was done up for prom and he was in a tux and i was in a dress and we both did little hand guns and went back to back like agents. i don't know.
and i didn't know i was crying until hannah pulled me into a hug and rubbed my back, asking me what happened. and i told her. every single detail.
and i decided with han that i wanted to go to the meet and greet so i could see his face when he saw me. i wanted so badly to watch his reaction as we made eye contact.
i missed him. so, so much.
november 30th, 2013
ages; 18
hannah insisted we got new outfits and got our hair done so that i could "rock the socks off of ashton".
i was wearing a mint green skater skirt that showed off my waist and my legs. as a top i had a black high neck sleeveless shirt. i had plain black on black vans and an arrow bracelet, a spiked necklace, and a loose jean jacket for when i get cold since it's winter. i also had my brown backpack because i lost purses. [ this whole outfit is on my polyvore - wlllow ] i'd curled my long brown hair and it was down to my hips now, so it was super long.
we were at the venue and i was exceptionally nervous. my palms were sweating despite the cold weather so i took off my jean jacket, putting it in my bag. hannah had gone to the bathroom and i was holding our spot, so i put my earbuds in and closed my eyes, listening to blink-182 to ease my nerves. the boys weren't out yet.
han tapped on my shoulder to let me know she was back and i opened my eyes. the boys were out. here goes.
