[ guys there was just a cockroach in my room the size of mars and my cat chased it out so thx cat for saving my life ]
november 30th, 2013
ages; 19
we were next.
i could see him from my spot in line and fuck, he looked good. he had a black and white bandana on his head, pushing back his less curly hair. he was beaming at the fans in front of him as he signed a shirt.
michael saw me. shit.
i waved timidly as he gawked at me, looking me up and down in shock. he nudged luke and he looked at me as well - by now the girls were leaving, ashton was looking at his phone in his lap - and his eyes bulged out of his head. in order it was michael, luke, ash, and then calum. the security guards motioned hannah and i forward and i went straight to ashton.
he looked up and the smile on his face just dropped. i felt the the feeling in my stomach return as he looked at me and finally he picked up a photo of the band that they sign for fans and held his marker as he looked up at me expectantly.
"what's your name?" he asked.
oh.
i stood in shock as i stared at him, and all the other boys plus hannah stopped speaking and stared at him. "it's me, ash, it's maels," i mumbled, my voice shaky and my lips quivering. "you can't- you have to-"
he took the cap off the marker. "how do you spell maels?" he asked and i couldn't breathe, and i couldn't see because my eyes were clouded with tears.
"you're going to hell, ashton irwin."
and then it turned out i was taking way too long and hannah was already waiting for me at the exit, and their security person had to take me by the elbows and push me away. i was full on sobbing, a messy blubbering crying trainwreck. han pulled me into her arms when we were out of the building and i wept into her shoulder, and i knew my makeup was messed up, and i knew i looked like utter shit.
i felt the tightening in my chest weaken as i caught my breath and pulled away, wiping at my eyes. hannah suggested we go back in and get cleaned up in the bathroom, and i nodded.
when in the bathroom, i wiped the stray makeup that'd spread and blew my nose repeatedly. how could i have been so stupid as to think he'd be happy to see me? he didn't actually forget me, he was just a fucking coward who put on an act instead of facing that i was actually there.
we walked out of the bathroom and i was engulfed in a pair of big, warm arms. literally i was knocked off my feet.
"maely," i heard michael say.
i wrapped my frail arms around his waist and hugged back, taking in his musky scent i'd missed for a while now. han was standing off to the side awkwardly. i wanted to cry again because mikey cared enough to come after me, and i did. i cried into his chest, and i'm sure he didn't care.
he pulled away and his eyes searched my face for some kind of emotion. i stared blankly at him. "how about you and hannah come back with us and we can catch up when the meet and greet's over," he suggested, and i nodded. "great. i know luke misses you a lot, and calum was just talking about you the other day."
i couldn't help the words from tumbling out of my mouth, "and ashton?"
he hesitated, looking between me and han in a slight panic. "it's complicated."
i nodded before gulping, and he took my hand - i grabbed hannah's - and lead us to this back room. we sat down on a couch and he assured me that they'd be done soon. i brought my knees to my chest when he was gone, burying my head in them.
"you shouldn't sit like that when you're wearing a skirt," a mystery voice said and i dropped my legs, looking up. my heart sunk in my chest. "i'm annabelle, who are you guys?"
