[ love you guys ]
june 2nd, 2004
ages; 9
ashton really doesn't like luke.
over the past two months, i had become pals with luke and michael and cal. it started when i blushed every time i saw luke, and so did he, and then finally he came and told me it was a double-dog-dare. you can't break those. i invited him and his friends to sit with ash and i during lunch, and that's when we all became friends. also, my friend jada.
except ash and luke.
i think ashton just really doesn't like him because he kissed me. it wasn't that big of a deal, so i dunno why he was still mad. i think it's because he's protective over me.
he's still my bee-eff-eff. no matter what.
so it was the last day school, and i invited mikey, luke, cal, jada, and ash over for a sleepover party. you'd think it was weird having boys sleep over at a girl's house, but i just got along with boys better. i never really liked girly stuff.
jada and i were in gymnastics together, so we played in my backyard, doing cartwheels and roundoffs. i showed her my split and she told me she wanted to learn how. calum was telling us he could do it just as well as we could, so he strutted over and did a cartwheel, resulting in all the boys coming to do it.
luke did a perfect one. "i didn't know i could do that," he giggled, fixing his transformers shirt.
ashton frowned, trying to do one as well, but couldn't. i helped him by holding his legs up and bringing them over like our instructor did for us. he landed on his back and we all laughed, except for him. "it's not funny," he pouted, his cheeks turning pink.
he was never really that good at making friends or dealing with attention, so it was usually just me and him. i think that's why he was being weird that night. my mum and dad called us in for dinner, which was just pizza, and michael ate three whole slices!
i sat next to ash at the table and scooted our chairs closer, so that i could touch thighs with him. he looked down at where we were touching and blushed, stuffing his mouth with pizza. i was left-handed, and he was right, so i grabbed his left hand with my right under the table and locked our fingers together. he choked on his pizza, but he was okay.
"aw! ashton and maely, sitting in a tree. k-i-s-s-i-n-g. first comes love, then comes marriage! then comes a baby in a baby carriage!"
i think it was calum who sang it, but i didn't care. me and ashton didn't kiss, nor did we get married. and ew, babies.
ashton was flustered, though. "nuh-uh!"
luke smirked and threw his plate away, drinking his sprite. "you guys are holding hands! you have to love each other," he said and i frowned, shaking my head.
"he's my friend," i said.
everyone dropped it when my mum came in, raising an eyebrow at me and ashton's hands, before laughing to herself. we ended up in the living room, watching a movie. first jada and mikey fell asleep. then luke. and then calum, until it was just me and ash. we were on the love seat - but we didn't love each other. a blanket was draped over us and i leaned my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as spiderman played on tv.
"'night," i mumbled, and i felt him stiffen for a second before counting to three under his breath. then he kissed me on the forehead, and repeated my words. "ashton?"
he tensed. "yeah, maely?"
"do you love me - as a friend?"
he breathed out and wrapped his arm around me, brushing my hair off my shoulder. "of course i do. goodnight."
january 20th, 2007
ages; 12
i was twelve years old when it happened.
as i fixed the bow in my hair, and slid on my uniform, i smiled at my reflection. it was game day, meaning all the cheerleaders had to wear their uniforms to school.
it was my first year as a cheerleader and i think i could say my life was really good. my best friend ashton was the greatest you could ask for. i actually had my first boyfriend - and it was surprisingly luke. he's the sweetest, most caring boyfriend ever. i made the cheer squad earlier in the year and tonight was the first actual footy game of the year.
i was only in seventh grade, just my first year of high school, and i kind of sucked at cheer. i was still clumsy and awkward and somewhat quiet but i hoped to be much better by the end of high school.
mum'd curled my hair last night so the curls were still in tact. i had pulled some of my hair back and clipped it with our school's colored bow. outside, ashton was waiting at the bus stop and i looked up at him. during the summer he shot up from his tiny lanky self and i thought he looked good.
"don't you look adorable in your little uniform," he giggled. yeah, he never grew out of his giggle. "luke's a lucky kid."
i frowned. luke was still two years younger than me, stuck in sixth grade because his birthday was in july - like mine and ash's - and he'd be coming to high school next year. i didn't mind. it just sucked a lot that i could never see him except for weekends, and even then our time is cut short because his mum is strict.
the bus pulled around the corner and we both got on. we sat in a middle seat, and one of the cheerleader girls smiled at me, saying hello. i waved.
"so, listen. i have to tell you something."
i turned to ash, looking at his straight blonde hair and his dimpled smile. i don't know how his curls turned straight. "what is it?" i asked, swinging my legs back and forth.
my head turned out the window before i turned back towards him, and his face was much closer now. i laughed nervously, backing away a little. "so i think," he paused, gathering his thoughts. "i think i had some sort of epiphany. like a realization."
i furrowed my eyebrows.
"i realized that i have these, um," he stopped, shaking his head. "i have these feelings for you, maels." i shook my head, not understanding what the freak he was talking about. "i think i, well. i think i like like you."
my eyes widened at the thought and before i knew it he was blushing madly, and i words were tumbling out of my mouth. "oh, well, that's good to hear, ashton. wow, um, i feel like i should say something, but i'm not sure what. i'm babbling and i probably sound super dumb, but-"
"i'm not asking you to break up with luke or anything," he rolled his eyes. "i just thought you should know." my stomach churned.
and i think that was the day i realized that i might have - somewhere deep, deep down - had these feelings for ashton, as well.
