december 25th, 2013
ages; 19
i turned my head and sighed in relief when i saw calum standing there with a shocked expression.
he pointed at ashton and i with confusion all over his face, so i rolled off of him and sat on my bum away from him. "but you're with luke!" he cried and i sighed, holding my head in my hands. "why would you even-"
"calum, listen," i breathed, standing up and brushing my butt off. "don't tell luke, please, i didn't mean to. we all make mistakes, you know how it is. ashton and i are just tired-"
"i've been friends with luke since pre-k," he whispered, rubbing one eye. "i can't just keep something like this from him, maels, oh my god. he fucking loves you to death, would take a bullet for you, but you pull shit like this!"
i shook my head and looked back at ashton desperately, but he wasn't there. i looked around, but he was nowhere to be found. he must have slipped through the doors when i was distracted. "calum, please. i didn't tell that one time that you used michael's car-"
"this is different, maely!" he almost yelled and i winced, looking past him into the house, but the door was closed. "some fucking car is fixable, but this-" he stopped to point where ashton and i were previously. "i can't help you here."
i understood where he was coming from, so i nodded and brushed past him, going inside to the living room. luke was still asleep, so i tucked myself in next to him - earning a very disapproving look from calum. he wrapped his arms around me and i sighed, looking at the couch where ashton was. he was there, and he looked like he was asleep, but i bet he was just torturing himself by overthinking everything.
-
i woke up the next morning still in luke's arms, but he was awake. he smiled down at me upon seeing my eyes open, kissing my cheek.
guilt washed through me. how could i pull something so stupid last night? "merry christmas," luke whispered and i smiled without teeth. "we're gonna' open presents soon." i nodded, moving out of his grip and standing up, telling him i was just going to the bathroom.
i hurried up to my room and into my bathroom, closing the door behind me and leaning my back against it. if i'm lucky, calum won't tell him today and we could survive this holiday. i held my breath for a second, waiting for my heart to slow down, before exhaling and then feeling it pick up again. it always calmed me down, i don't know why.
when i finished making my hair less of a rats nest and peed, i went downstairs and found the boys all sat at the table. luke looked at me and he looked almost... mad. shit. fuck. shit. i looked over at calum and found him staring at me with a disappointed look. i took my seat next to luke and all seven of us ate breakfast in silence.
"so," my mum said, breaking the silence violently with her overly cheerful voice, "mae your father and i have some news. we're going on a cruise tonight. it was kind of sudden, but your aunt linda surprised us with the passes."
i choked on my pancake. "a cruise? that's so cool," i said excitedly. "what do i pack?"
"oh," dad said, "you're not coming."
my smile dropped, and michael laughed. he was the only completely normal one this morning, so i assumed he didn't know what was going on. "well that's bullshit," i said honestly and my dad tried to hide his smile, while mum glared.
it was silent again and i began to feel more and more awkward. i tried to reach under the table to hold luke's hand, but he jerked away from me. i sighed and stood up, taking my plate and putting it in the sink before washing my hands and going into the living room.
ten minutes later, we were all ready to open presents, and my parents and i decided we'd open each other's after the boys left. michael distributed all the presents - the boys had brought theirs for each other with them - and in the end we all had around five. because everyone was exceptionally awkward, mikey also took the liberty of opening his first, then calum, then me.
michael gave me some huf socks and one of those gift cards that was good in every store of the mall. calum got me a really pretty sweater. i opened luke's and it ended up being a necklace that said forever inside of it and he didn't look at me after i thanked him for it. ashton didn't end up getting me anything, and i didn't question it.
luke opened his and actually didn't bother touching what i got him, which was some cologne that he said he liked, and opened all the gifts with a blank expression on his face.
on the other hand, ashton opened his presents more enthusiastically, smiling and thanking all the boys for their gifts and when he opened mine, a ring i knew he'd like, he smiled gratefully. i smiled back, but didn't linger it.
in the end, i took luke's hand and took him to the side just a bit. "thank you for the necklace," i smiled (it was kind of forced) and held it up. "can you put it on me?" he took it and stared at it for a while. "luke-"
"cut the shit," he snapped, and i closed my mouth. "calum told me what happened." i nodded and backed away from him, leaning against the wall. he ran his fingers through his hair and i bit at my cheek. "i mean, i must say i should've seen this coming. how could you not go back to him? he's perfect for you."
"i'm so sorry," i whispered.
luke's icy blue eyes fell onto mine and he shrugged, playing with the necklace. "ugh, maely."
i wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his warm chest. without hesitation, he hugged back like we'd never see each other again. "i love you luke," i whispered so that only we could hear, and in the same volume, he whispered back.
"i love you more."
