Let Me Show You How to Love Yourself (Larry Stylinson) ✅

Fucked

It was about midnight when Louis finally got home to his apartment. Unsurprisingly, he found Niall in the TV room eating popcorn and talking to his girlfriend on the phone with a rom com movie muted in the background. When Niall heard the door open, he turned around excitedly, nearly dropping the phone as he faced Louis.

"Soph, I'll have to call you tomorrow. Lou just got home," he told her quickly before hanging up. Then he got up and jogged over to Louis, his face falling quickly as he looked at him more carefully.

Louis' hair was course and greasy, falling flat on his face, a stark contrast to his usual perfectly coiffed style. He was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants with a stain on one leg and a weathered green tank top, holding his winter coat over his shoulder. Niall shuddered as Louis' bloodshot eyes stared back at him, purple circles accentuating his exhaustion. Further down on his face, five o'clock shadow was making a noticeable appearance on his jawline.

"Oh my god. Louis. Sit down, mate. Are you okay?" Niall asked with a concerned tone. Louis shook his head feverishly, tossing his suitcase on the ground and collapsing into one of the kitchen chairs. "I'm not okay. I cheated on Harry," he blurted out, without much of a second thought. He was tired of keeping it bottled up, exhausted really. And he needed to tell someone about the heinous, dirty deed he had done less than a day ago.

"What the fuck?" Niall nearly screamed, jumping backwards in disbelief as Louis told him his secret. "Wait... What? You're kidding right?" Louis shook his head. "Do I look like I'm bloody kidding?" He scoffed, motioning to his horrid appearance. "Well why? With who?" Niall asked, his eyes still wide with surprise.

"Zayn," Louis said. Just saying the name made him feel sinful. Zayn. It was a sexy name. A mysterious one. Felt good on his tongue. Good on his tongue, but bad for his soul....

"Wait. What the fucking hell?" Niall yelped. "In the plane bathroom," Louis continued. "I'm a horrible person, Niall. What I did was unforgivable." Niall shook his head, bringing his palm to his face and sighing deeply. "I... wow..." he stammered. "What exactly happened?"

"He was drugged out. Asked me to help in the bathroom, begged. So I did," Louis said, his face growing pale as he recalled the awful memory. "I had my back to him. Nothing was happening, until he started coming onto me. Kissed me. I pushed him off." Niall shook his head, grimacing. Louis had done a lot of fucked up shit in the past, from accidentally having sex with the wrong twin to bitch slapping the bar tender at the local pub in uni. But the way things were headed with his story, this seemed to be by far the worst thing Louis had ever done. And the worst part was, he had been sober.

"He kept making moves. Told me that Harry had slept with a girl a few weeks before meeting me... fucked her no problem despite body image issues but still can't get naked around me because he's not attracted to me," Louis continued, his breathing rate quickening and his face flushing red.

"Oh, Lou...," Niall said, frowning and sticking out his bottom lip. He knew how deeply that insecurity struck Louis, and now it sort of made more sense why he had went through with this — it wasn't his attraction to Zayn that motivated him, it was the emotional trigger and his subsequent need to drown his insecurities.

"Yeah. So you know me. I'm an insecure, emotional, whacked out fuck. And so I let him Fuck me in the bathroom stall. Then and there. Mile high club with someone else's boyfriend. Sad thing is, he and Liam broke up. But Liam doesn't even know we fucked. It just wasn't working out," Louis blurted out, his arms trembling. "What I did was so disgusting. I don't know how I can even face Harry..."

Niall gulped. Louis had a point— telling Harry would definitely make things worse. Not only had he blatantly betrayed him by cheating with his best friend, but he had also been a complete hypocrite by telling Harry he wanted to help him and then doing the exact opposite.

"I'm just gonna tell him," Louis said, shaking his head. "Fuck it. Just Fuck it!" He stood up and took a bottle of tequila from the liquor cabinet, chugging a swig from the shiny glass bottle before standing up and heading towards the door. "Louis William Tomlinson, don't you fucking dare," Niall called, his blue eyes burning a hole into his roommates back. Without hesitating, Niall sprinted to the door and grabbed Louis firmly by the bicep, forcing him to face him.

"Not right now. Please. In the morning. It's late," he begged. Louis shook his head and ripped his arm from Niall's grip. "No. Just gotta get it over with," Louis retorted, sticking his index finger into Niall's chest. He reached for the door handle, twisting it and running to the hallway, his legs swishing in the sweatpants.

Niall darted after him and watched in horror as Louis grabbed the door knob to their neighboring flat. Not knowing what else to do, Niall jumped forward and tackled Louis to the ground, sending him sprawling on his stomach.

"What the bloody fuck are you doing?" Louis screamed, trying to push Niall off of him. But Niall pressed hard onto Louis' body, preventing him from moving. "Don't do it, mate. You'll destroy him. You need to discuss this in the morning when you have a clear head..." Louis grunted and struggled against Niall's grip, flailing his limbs wildly.

Niall continued to hold his ground, firmly pressing on Louis' back. "Fuck! Get the fuck off me, Niall, you fucking arsehole!" Louis screamed. He was kicking him now, and Niall was starting to get nervous that he might not be able to keep Louis pinned down for much longer.

"Okay, I'll get off. But don't do it," Niall said, slowly releasing Louis. Louis nodded, locking eyes with Niall and feigning a semblance of calm, his eyes fluttering closed and his breathing steadying.

Niall smiled and offered Louis a hand to get up. But instead of taking it, Louis jumped up and sprinted to the door of Harry's flat. Niall spun around and chased after him, pushing him violently to the side and blocking the doorframe with his body. Louis walked over to the door, scowling when he saw what his roommate was trying to do. Then, his face softened and he began to tear up, his cheeks flushing red.

"I should just kill my self," Louis sobbed, falling onto Niall's chest. "I can't believe I cheated." Niall nodded. He stroked Louis' hair, cooing softly that it would be okay. That all he needed was some rest. Louis wanted to believe him. But he knew he couldn't. Because nothing would ever be okay after this.

Humming softly, Niall took Louis by the hand and began to lead him across the corridor and back to their apartment. Just as they turned the doorknob, however, the door to Harry's flat flew open, sending both boys jumping in fright. To their sheer surprise, it wasn't Harry who was at the door, but Liam, who was scowling at them with squinting eyes as he supported himself on this crutches.

"What the fuck is all that noise? Is everything okay?" He asked in an annoyed tone. "And who in the bloody hell cheated?"