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Program: Jealousy

"Lee, let's take seriously"

Was her line when I sat, wait what, take? Did she mean talk seriously?

Me: Uhm Ley, did you mean let's talk seriously?
Ley: Ugh gosh you know what I mean! You don't have to be such a grammar Nazi all of the time!

Okay that was kind of awkward; I should've kept that simple mistake all to myself, great it became more awkward between the two of us. As I sat next to her, she was still curled up within her own shell, her face covered by her hair, she hugged her legs making sure her curled up form wouldn't break. There was nothing that I can do. All I could ever do was sigh and look around our surroundings

And that I exactly did, I just sighed out of frustration and just looked around the surroundings, the silence between the two of us is deafening, I wanted to take initiative but I don't know what to talk about, I mean I don't even know why she called me all the way out here, what should we talk about?

Ugh I don't know, my thoughts were filled up with doubt, but deep inside I was still hoping that my dream confession would somehow, happen right in this moment. I tried calling out her name so that we could get started of what was about to happen, who knows what might happen in this situation, all I know is that I don't what's going to happen nor do I know the reason I'm called out here, only her, only Ley knows what is what in the situation. I'm nervous, frustrated, but still I hoped, that she felt the same way about me, I still hoped that she would confess

With these thoughts running around in my head, Ley suddenly spoke

Ley: Sorry

I was awestruck; I was left in a pause, a daze even, "sorry?" sorry for what I asked her. She nodded a no, meaning nothing, I was puzzled about what was happening, I don't know how to act, nor do I know what kind of things might be suitable for us to talk about in this kind of situation.

Ahhh this silence is driving me crazy, and so does this situation, and so I just started talking about anything I could think of, hoping that the mood would lighten up a bit, for me it was suffocating, it was tense, and now I am trying to get rid of the dread feeling, even though I was talking and spouting all kinds of different things, Ley just stayed curled up in her own tiny world, I was about to break and wanted to stop talking and leave, I mean she wasn't talking to me nor is she making an effort to communicate, but I still kept on hanging on, hoping that she open up and talk

And yes finally she spoke, it was unclear at first, but one thing was sure, she was sobering, more like she was crying though, her statement remained unheard and so I requested that she say it again one more time

Hoping that she would tell me politely, what I got in return was quite unexpected she shoved while she was in tears blurting out "I'm jealous okay?!"

Wait did I hear her right? She's jealous? Jealous of who, gosh I was puzzled, so puzzled that I wish that what was happening right in this moment would be just a dream and I hope that I'd wake up any time soon, but whether I want it or not, this was reality

Me: Uhm, this may sound like insensitive but... jealous of who exactly?
Ley: *Cries* Jealous of Nix!
Me: (confused) and why would you be jealous of Nix?
Ley: Because you're always with her!

This line struck something in my heart, it hurts but I know that there was more that I need to hear, so I took all the pain and listened to her all to the end

Ley: You look so happy when you're with her, even though we knew each other first, you kind of forgotten about me! Since then, when the new seating arrangement was implemented, little by little you had no time for me, but instead you used all your free time talking with Nix!
Me: Ahmm... I'm sorry

That was the only line that I could ever think and ever say to her, I don't know, but in that instance I know nothing but to say sorry to her

Me: Ley, Ley let me see your face

She raised her face, and I wiped every tear that has been shed and every sweat that slid down her face, I tried calming her down, it took sometime but I'm glad she calmed down, from the teary eyed Ley who was incapable of breathing slowly due to emotional pressure; she reverted back to the calm Ley. After calming her down she looked at the other side facing away from me, I just scratched my head because I don't really know what is happening, but I know in myself that I must do something about this, and so I called her out

Me: Ley
Ley: (Silence)
Me: Ley, please listen, can you look at me please?

She slowly turned her way facing me

Me: Look you don't have to get jealous of Nix okay? She's just a seatmate that's why you think I was always talking to her, we're like seating next to each other
Ley: That's the point Lee!
Me: uhm excuse me?
Ley: that's the point! How can I not get jealous if...
Me: if?
Ley: If Nix is trying to get you all for her own!
Me: what do you mean?
Ley: Because I want you all for myself! Not anybody else's but mine!

I was left speechless by her statement, sudden realization came to her, she was beat red, after realizing her statement she blushed and looked away while saying "Ahhh I didn't say anything! Forget about it, you heard nothing!"

It was kind of a mixed feeling kind of thing, I was happy and a little bit confused, but happy, puzzled, but still happy.

Ley went to the corner of the corridor to wipe her face, after that, she acted like nothing happened between the two of us, next thing I knew, she was the Ley that I know from before, the happy cheerful Ley, "Sorry about that! Never mean to end up like that" she giggled as she tried to persuade me to act like nothing happened, she tapped my shoulder and said "Let's go home"

And so we went down from the upper floor, as we were walking down the stair case, she stopped and made a statement "Tomorrow, I want to you to meet someone dear to me" after telling me that, she ran off without even saying goodbye.

And I was left like, "What just happened?"

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