Loading

System Error: Cause- Nervousness

After reading the note, Nix started to tease me like "Oh no you're in trouble now bro!"

And I was left like nervous like hell, my hands were shaking, I was experiencing cold sweat, my knees weakened, and my mind was all over the place, I couldn't think straight nor could I calm down, my tension raised as Nix filled my mind with things that I fear it might happen like, Ley would be upset at me because of something, or Ley would like to stop our friendship and something like that

But of all the things Nix said to me on that moment, there was only one thing that stood out the rest of the negativity that she had said, for me this one thing Nix said to me was something I really want to happen in that moment if ever I'd go meet up with Ley, "Maybe she likes you too and she's going to confess to you in the meet up"

That was the statement Nix left me that stood out in my mind, I was happy with mixed emotions, happy, nervous, paranoid, jolly and so on, my mind was totally wrecked and my emotions couldn't keep up with what was going on, honestly because of what Nix said to me, I got my hopes up, hoping that, that were the case, that Ley would confess to me upstairs, but there was this part of me that just pulled myself together telling me that don't get my hopes up too much

But who could blame me, that kind of meet up was very unusual just to happen plainly, I really got my hopes up, hoping that Ley feels that same way as I do to her, but at the back of my mind I was really prepared for the possibility that Ley confessing to me was near zero.

Last subject started and now we got onto our seats, everybody was taking their lectures as the teacher wrote the lessons on the board, but I for one, didn't even write, nor did I observe the lesson being written on the board, only I faced the window with my thoughts lost in the wilderness, everybody was focused on taking the notes, but only I didn't write the lesson, my eyes scattered across the room, that meet up still boggled my mind, I couldn't calm down and I feel kind of irritated not able to do anything in that moment.

My heart skipped a beat when I was looking around and I caught a glimpse of Ley looking at me

That instance also made my hopes high, hoping that Ley does really have a crush on me just like I have a crush on her, my thoughts slowly was filled with hope, hope that me and her would get to fall in love with one another, slowly my nervousness was replaced with glee and happiness, I felt joy and warmth in my heart just thinking about that slim possibility

I thought to myself that, if it's to get that slim possibility I'd do anything. Time passed me by so quickly, the teacher finished writing the lecture and I was still locked up inside my thoughts, my thoughts of her and that small chance of confession happening. I did simulations just in case there were other possibilities that might sprout, instead of preparing for the worst outcome, I started preparing for the best, which I know in my character is totally off, this was the first time that I had felt like this, the first time that this happened to me, I never felt like this before, I thought to myself, what if.... What if this isn't some kind of simple crush, it's not just simple infatuation towards Ley, what if I'm in love. As I thought that possibility of me being in love

Nix whispered "You're blushing again", I snapped back to reality and looked at Nix and asked

Me: Nix what should I do?
Nix: do what you think is right Lee.
Me: what do you think is right in this situation Nix?
Nix: Hmmm I'd follow my heart if I were you
Me: my heart eh

And so I before leaving the room I asked Nix for one more question "Do you think I should go and meet up with her?" Nix simply replied "yes"

I went outside the room, knowing that I was prepared to meet up with her, I took my bag and walked straight to the exit as I stepped out, nervousness came rushing back at me

My knees weakened and my body grew tired, I was heavily breathing in and out due to the sudden pressure that I felt, I was so nervous that I was sweating a lot, some people stared at me and whispering that what the hell is wrong with me

And neither do I know what is wrong with me in that moment

Amidst my shakiness and nervousness there were two hands that tapped my back, it was Leo's and Abad's hands

Abad: What are you so nervous for?
Leo: is this about the meet up with Ley?

I was shocked about the fact that both of them knew about the meet up

Me: How did you know?!
Abad: Nix told us
Leo: She wanted you to know, good luck to you
Me: well gee thanks
Leo: you can do it man
Me: really?
Abad: yeah just be you and go to her
Me: that's what I'm afraid of being me and meeting up with her as me

And so the two of them gave me a final pat at the back and left, I stood there in front of the stair case leading towards the meet up spot, the power of absolute choice then appeared to me that time, To go to the meet up or to go home and leave Ley there.

Of course it was no brainer I'd choose to meet up with her, I started to gamble with myself, that if she confesses with me I'll tell her everything, starting from what I think about her and to the fact that I like her, no... I love her

And so I took a few steps towards upstairs and there were two seniors waiting for me

"She's waiting for you there" they pointed out at the corner of the other section, I said thanks for pointing out the directions, and the seniors went down, I grabbed my polo and prepared myself

The pressure of my nervousness increased by a ton, I could barely move towards the direction pointed to me but I know that I needed to go

As I slowly walked, I kind of heard sobering, faint sobering of a girl, and I thought to myself is this Ley? Why is she so sad

I walked straight and turned to the corner, what I saw was Ley curled up with her face covered with her hair

I tried asking her how she felt, but instead she said "sit" and there was this very authoritative aura that made me sit out of whim

I sat there next to her quietly, waiting for her to look at me to start the conversation, as I waited I saw that she wiped her tears, she combed her hair a little and said

"Lee, let's take seriously"