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And then there I was, that night, that one night where everything just froze and stood still, as my eyes were glued in that one text message from the girl I've fallen for, that one message that contains that very thing that I wanted to hear from her "I love you"

Oh my goooosh, I am not mentally ready nor am I prepared for this kind of moment, yeah I was in joy and I'm ready to burst out of excitement and happiness occurring in this kind of situation

It was just like out of the movie, the cliché moment that I wasn't really expecting to happen

After for some while, something just happened, yeah it didn't happen for a while, I almost have forgotten about that one trait that I had always have, since I started moving in this town, that one trait that I had since elementary school

It didn't occur much these past days, but here it is again, this phenomenon of mine, I had to choose an absolute choice

"Oh no" I just thought, as my environment started changing forming to one of the choices that I am about to make

I wonder what kind of choices I am about to pick for today, and so I waited until the choices have formed, then finally it reveals

First "ignore the message" and second "text back I love you too"

And I was like whaaaat, I couldn't just ignore the message so that would be wrong, so I crossed that one out, but thinking again about the choice number two, I am not yet mentally prepared for this, the fact that she texted me I love you is enough to agitate me and now I must make a choice between ignoring the message and confronting this unpreparedness of mine by replying to her I love you too

Gosh darn it, I thought about it, I just sat there, but I couldn't even think of what to do, I mean, I'm mentally unprepared so there is part of me that wants to just ignore the message but there is this part of me that knows, ignoring a message is very rude, and so there is that one part of me that wants to reply I love you too to that message

And so I stopped thinking and started feeling, I started listening to what my heart tells me, and that one is a no brainer because my heart was already screaming someone's name, and that is Ley, I steeled my resolve, took a deep breath and started to type down in the phone, in that text message that I was about to send, I love you too

When I was about to send it to her, fear struck me, and again I was frozen on my seat, fear of what exactly

It was fear of being rejected, and that fear sprouted what ifs, what if it was just a prank, what if its wasn't really meant for me, and so on and so forth

In this point of time you would begin to see me as a worry wart, in fear of what the future may bring, well guess what I am, I am worried about everything, down to the smallest of details, and that is why I am in fear to even confess to her, to confess my love to her because of fear, I know that I am a coward and chose to run away, if only I was only someone stronger then I'd be able to confront her

With the fears running inside my head, I want to back down from the choice I made

But that was not possible, I already chose one between the two, and the absolute rule for this phenomenon was that there was no turning back from the choice that I have made or else intense pain would come rushing down in my head again

Because I don't want pain to rush down in my head, I didn't backed out

But instead I just altered the text message, I added a question mark at the end of the I love you too message, just playing safe just in case the message wasn't for me

Then I sent the message, all the tension after that, was gone, I just started to feel exhausted, and I lied down on the bed, thinking about that maybe I shouldn't have put that question mark on that message of mine, that maybe it was about time that I confessed my feelings to her

But I know this complaining, this I should haves in my head would do nothing to change the fact that I already sent the message to her, it was only a matter of time before she replies, I just thought in my mind that I'd just accept whatever message she'd reply back to me because this was my decision to begin with

I started to feel a little drowsy, to the point that I was very sleepy, I wanted to close my eyes and just sleep, but I fought my sleepiness and waited for that text message to come, it was a bit tad too long, so much time passed by for the text message to come, but still I tried staying up to see that text message

It arrive but I was very sleepy and my eyes were shut, I feel the phone vibrating, and so I tried opening my eyes the last minute, I tried mustering up every ounce of energy I had left before I fall asleep, I raised my hand and placed it in front of me

Too sleepy I read the message "Oh sorry wrong send, that was for my brother, sorry Lee" I laughed softly lacking the energy to stay awake, I just started typing ok as a reply

It was a short message that lacked enthusiasm but who could blame me, despite being down because of that message from her, I was very sleepy, and just couldn't care anymore, all I wanted now was to sleep, nothing more and nothing less, but to rest and sleep, and so I started sleeping, went down into deep slumber with my phone on my hand and just started dozing off and started to sleep

Next morning I woke up, my memory was a bit hazy about last night, but one thing was for sure, the I love you message wasn't for me, pathetic, I hoped too much, I knew that this was going to happen, but it hurts though, even though knowing that I had no chance, even knowing the fact that this could have happened and it did, I just couldn't help but get sad and depressed

Because deep inside I was still hoping that I'd be the one she was referring to with that I love you of hers

I took a bath and just tried to clear my thoughts; I put on my uniform and just tried to shrug it off

As I was eating breakfast, she messaged me "good morning" I paused, I felt sad still

But I tried to smile and just reply "Good morning to you as well"

I started to think that, this was for the best, for both of us

" uh oh"<^Fy