Dream // David Dobrik

{Sometimes}

"Do you love him?"
"Yes."
"Does he love you back?"
"Sometimes."

                                 ▪️
   I think it's beautiful, the way you sparkle 
   when you talk about the things you love.
                                 ▪️

We all walked out the door and headed to Heath's car. Zane and Heath sat upfront. David and I sat in the back. As we were driving to the party, David put his hand on my thigh. I felt warmth in my heart. Maybe we could be something beautiful. That's all I could hope for.
After a few minutes of driving around and listening to the radio we arrived at the house party. We all walked out of the car and entered the house. There was music blaring and dim colored lights. There was tables with solo cups on them, no doubt filled with alcohol. David usually doesn't like to drink, but I guess tonight was a compromise because he picked up a cup as we walked in. I didn't drink, not just because I was under age, in fact I've been drunk at times. I just prefer to laugh at the drunk people while sober. People from David's vlog were at this party and I chatted with some of them but I mostly clung to David at this party because I didn't really know anybody else that well. I started talking to Heath, we made jokes and laughed. Suddenly I realized David had walked away. I had decided to look for him because I was anxious without him. I pushed through the crowd of people trying to find David. His black hat had caught my eye. But I didn't like what I saw. He was making out with some girl I had never seen before. She had blonde hair and a black crop top, with some basic jean shorts. I wave of sadness over came me. I knew David said we weren't a thing and I knew we were just fucking around but a tiny of piece me really thought I meant something to him. I really thought he liked me. I had invested so much of myself into him because I wanted him to happy. It was always for him. But for him, it wasn't always for me. Even though it hurts to see him with that other girl, if she makes him happier then I can, then I'll let it be. I'll set my feelings aside and let David be happy even if it tears me apart. I will love him with every broken piece of me. I snapped back into reality when I felt tears on my face. I didn't feel like I was crying, my face wasn't hot and my eyes didn't burn. It just happened. I didn't even know I was was crying until I felt a tear drip on my wrist. The tears just happened and I couldn't get it to stop. I desperately tried to wipe them away so no one would notice. I felt someones hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Gabbie. I saw her in Davids vlogs and always thought she was so amazing.
"Hey, you're Davids friend Ava," she paused and looked at my cheek. "Are you okay, were you crying?" She asked holding my shoulders.
At this point I couldn't control the tears in my eyes.
"I'm fine." I lied wiping my face.
Gabbie grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the bathroom. The loud music faded at we entered the silent room. She shut the door and locked it.
"What happened? Did someone hurt you?" She asked
"I'll be okay, I can deal with it in my own." I said, I had stopped crying but the pain was still there.
"Please tell me, it won't get better I unless you let it go." She said
"If I tell you can you please keep it between us?" I said
"Of course." She responded
"Well, David and I had been hanging out for a while and one thing led to another and we kissed, and after that we kind of acted like we were dating when we were around each other but we weren't together. I really thought we could have been something, but I just saw him with some girl and now everything is different." I said
"Do you love him?" She asked
"Yes."
"Does he love you back?"
"Sometimes."
She pulled me in for a hug.
"He's probably just drunk, and confused about what he feels, you can keep trying." She said
She gave me hope. But in the past I gave myself false hope. Maybe this was false.
"Isn't it just easier to let him be happy? Let him do what we wants. I want him to have what he wants." I said
"But what about what you want? What do you want?" She asked
"Him to be happy." I stated
"But you can't lie and say you don't want him, because I know you do." She remarked
I paused before retorting
"I do. I want him. But if I can't make him happy then I don't want him."
"Well you can't get inside his head." She said
"Your point?"
"What if you make him happy? What if he loves you and he's just as confused, and he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings."
"But there's no guarantee he feels that way." I said
"And there's no guarantee he doesn't." She soothed
I smiled and hugged her again. I admit, she has a point. I walked out of the bathroom and laid on a couch. I fell asleep with hope in my heart.

I ray of sunlight peeked through the blinds and woke me up. I felt breath on my neck and an arm on my waist. I rolled over to see David passed out cuddling me. It was a moment I knew would remain unforgotten for the rest of my life. That's how perfect he was to me. He was gorgeous. I know he hurt me. I know it's going to fuck me over, but I didn't care. All I wanted was him and him to be content. I buried my face into his neck. In the moment I didn't care who was around to see. I didn't care if we ended up on someone's Snapchat story. All I wanted was for this to last forever. I was insane. That's what love does to you.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N
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