Dream // David Dobrik

{It Hurts A Little}

It hurts a little and sometimes a lot
when you care about someone
but your both kind of messy
and the timing is all wrong
and you don't feel like
kissing someone else
but you can't force what's not
and letting someone in
is scary enough
but even scarier
when your heart
isn't as strong.

David's POV

I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I met her. I just thought she would be another member of our friend group and that would be that. But then I kissed her, I fucking kissed her. And after that I couldn't stop. I didn't want to be in love again. I wanted to end any feelings I had for Ava because of my previous relationship. But she was so perfect, and every moment with her felt like everything.  But like I said, I didn't want to be in love. So I tried to be a dick and push her away, I tried to kiss other people, I tried to cut her off. But I couldn't because I loved her. I kept coming back because I loved her. And I hated myself for it. Being in love meant being in pain...right? That's all it's ever been for me. But she's never hurt me. So I asked her out, and look where that got us, I fucked up again. She acted like she just wanted to end everything and just be friends, but then she kissed me... she fucking kissed me. And now she's here, in my arms, and I'm at a loss. I'm in love with her, she's perfect and she's the only one I want, but I'm afraid of the pain. The pain of loosing her if I get to busy or if we grow apart. I didn't want to risk it, but I fell so hard for her that it seems worth it to me. But not right now because the timing is all off, and we're both kind of messy.

"I wish I didn't like you, that would make everything so much easier." I said
Sometimes she made me feel dumb, she was was gorgeous and amazing and I'm just an idiot with a camera. Why did she brake down my ego? Why do I make myself think that?
"I know." She said with a muffled voice.
I felt her breath on my neck as her face was buried in my shoulder. She had never failed to give my chills by doing that smallest, cutest things.
"I think I'm going to the guys house, I'll take you back to your apartment so you can get ready and come with if you want." I suggested
"Sounds fun." She said releasing our hug
Me and Ava are different yet the same. She loves love, and I used to be that same before my last relationship got fucked up, now I hate love. Yet I'm in love and I feel like I love it again.
"Are we leaving right now?" She asked
"Yeah." I said
I tried keep my answers short so she couldn't tell that my thoughts were racing.
"Okay." She cheerily responded heading to the door as I followed her.
We walked outside and hopped in the car. As I started the tesla I looked at Ava's neck and remembered that I had hickeys too and I wanted to hide them.
"Hey after you do your make up we should try and cover our hickeys so no one know about..." I trailed off hoping she would get the point.
"Oh, yeah you're right." She responded with a slight laugh.
We started driving to the apartment building.
I kept asking myself questions in my mind and the answer was always "because I love her." I hate being in love. It feels like an illness. You feel crazy.
I wonder if she thinks that same way I do. I wonder if she loves me too. We have never shared an I love you. I wonder if we both were deep in thought at the same time. Do we both think about what the other person is thinking? I don't know. I tired to shift my focus on driving and clear my mind.
"I miss you." She stated
A confused expression engulfed me.
"I'm right here." I said
"I miss you when we used to kiss like it was nothing." She said
What? She is so beautifully complicated that it baffles me.
"I miss you too." I said
I kind of knew what she was saying.

We got to the apartment and we parked the car. We started walking to the buildings from doors. I wanted to show her that I loved her without saying it. As we walked I rested my hand on her waist. I hoped I wasn't causing her confusion.
Then I I got caught up in my thoughts again and realized we were a both walking together, sporting huge hickeys. I smiled at how stupid we were.
We waked into the building and toward the elevator. I removed my hand from her waist as the elevator doors opened and we walked in.
The silence that overcame us was unusual but comforting. It gave us both an opportunity to think.
We reached our floor and the doors opened. We walked down the hallway and into Ava's apartment.
"I guess I'll just sit on your bed while you take a shower." I said plopping down on her bed.
"Okay I'll be right out." She said walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.
I rubbed my eyes and then ran my fingers through my hair. I know I'm in love with her. There's no doubt in my mind that when the time is right we'll be forever. I just wish the time was now. No girl has ever messed with my mind as much as she has. The more I see her the more I fall in love. I want to hold her and never stop. I can't stop thinking about how even after she said just friends, she hooked up with me. It messed with my head more than anything. I'm not the type of guy to go hook up with a bunch of girls, when I sleep with people it really means something.

After a few minutes of thinking and being on my phone Ava got out of the shower. She walked out of the bathroom with comfy clothes on and wet hair. She was so beautiful.
"Ready to cover up these hickeys?" She asked getting her make up bag.
"Yep." I smiled
She sat on the floor and I did the same. She took a sponge and some concealer and started dabbing it on my neck. I flinched as it was cold and a feeling I wasn't used to.
She pulled her hand away.
"I'm sorry! Is it cold?" She asked
"A little." I laughed
She laughed too. She had a perfect laugh. I couldn't help but hug her, and so I did.
She hugged me back, but I held her tighter.
We pulled away from the hug as she continued to cover up the hickeys.

"You're done." She said
I looked in the mirror and it looked like the hickeys weren't there.
"Thank you so much." I smiled at her
"No problem." She responded
She proceeded to do the same and cover up her hickeys as well.
I always thought that the relationship that no one knew about was the best one, but now I want more than that adrenaline. I want forever.
After she was done doing her make up she put her hair in a bun. I watched in amazement of every move she makes. Everything she did was magnificent.
"You know what we should do before we go to the guys house?" I said
"What?" She asked
"Cuddle." I stated with a giggle
I loved cuddles. And she was the perfect person to cuddle with because she loved it too.
She rolled her eyes. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her. She didn't hug me back.
"You're being mean." I whined holding her tighter.
She giggled and embraced me.
I broke the hug, and tried to play hard to get.
A hurt look came over her face.
"Don't look at me like that, you're mean." I complained jokingly.
She laughed and sat on her bed and scrolled on her phone. I walked over and sat down next to her.
"Hey Ava guess what."
"What?" She asked
"I like you." I said
"I like you too." She said
I pulled her into me and cuddled her.
I hate how attached I am to her but at the same time I love it. I love her.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO POST. I have been very busy at my job. But I'm writing the next chapter AS WE SPEAK. Love you all byyyyyeeee💗👋🏼.