You Are So Not a Fallen Angel

Chapter 21

There was a sharp tap at my window as I lay awake, staring up at the darkened ceiling. I sat, fumbling for the light switch. The window opened just as I found it and flipped it, bathing the room in a yellow glow.

“Can I come in?” Lorris asked, balanced on the windowsill like a giant bat. I nodded and he crawled inside, shutting the window behind him.

“What’s up?” I asked. He looked soaked to the skin, despite the sky outside being clear. His feet were bare, and there was mud and dirt splattered across the bottom of his jeans. He stood stiffly, staring straight ahead with glassy eyes. “Where’ve you been?”

He grabbed a towel off my desk chair and ineffectively wiped at his arms.

“I wanted to see you,” he said, his voice sounded strange, like it was strain to get the words out.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, pushing back the duvet and getting out of bed. He shrugged, a stiff, one shouldered gesture. I touched his arm. There was a red flush to his skin, and it was baking hot to the touch. He flinched away.

“Lorris, what’s the matter?” Tentatively, I gripped his hand and squeezed, trying to get him to look at me, to move, to snap out of this strange trance he was in. When he didn’t try to pull away I stepped closer and slipped an arm around him, pulling him close.

“Nothing.” He didn’t exactly fold me into his warm embrace, but he relaxed slightly. “Business. Nasty stuff, but in the end it’s just business.”

He kissed me on the top of the head and broke away.

“I should go,” he said, turning towards the window. “I shouldn’t have come.”

“It’s okay, stay.” I sat down on the end of the bed and indicated the space next to me. Lorris hesitated for a moment, then came over and gingerly sat down, like the duvet might turn out to be red-hot.

“I shouldn’t do this to you,” he whispered as I scooted close to him and snuggled against his side.

“Forget it,” I said. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I shouldn’t come to you with my problems.”

What problems? I felt like asking, since he hadn’t actually told me what was wrong. But I felt it wouldn’t help matters.

“It’s fine,” I said, a bit shortly. “I love you, I can deal with the mess along with the good stuff.”

My words hung heavy in the following silence. I could almost see them in front of me, and I wished I could take them back. But it was too late. They were free, out of the bag and there was no way to put them back.

Lorris said nothing, and I felt my heart sink a little. I didn’t say anything, but rested my head against his shoulder and sighed, because what else could I do?

Lorris shifted, breaking the moment. “What about you?” he said to dispel the awkward silence.

“What about me?” I said. I heard the sullenness in my voice, but I couldn’t do anything about it, just like I couldn’t help feeling resentful. I had just opened my heart to this jerk, and he hadn’t even bothered to acknowledge it.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” I wondered what he was getting at. Was he trying to distract me? “Why?”

“I thought I felt something, that’s all.”

“Felt what exactly?”

“I don’t know, danger or something.” He sounded exasperated. “Did anything happen this afternoon?”