hello, goodbye | ✓

end note

I'm writing this end note, four weeks before my batch's graduation since I know if I wrote it on that day, my keyboard would be tear stained and the aching of my heart would make it impossible for me to type. For those of you that have read Maybe, Probably, you know that I dropped out of my high school last year. Thinking I would never return to the country that has become my second home, I was an emotional wreck. There have been days where I'd cry myself to sleep because my friends were all I've got and I was miles away from them; I felt like a parent missing out on the key moments in their lives; their new relationships, their prom, their preparation for the real world.

But now that I'm back, (right before their graduation) it isn't helping to ease any of the pain. If anything, my heart aches more than ever as I know the inevitable is arriving; the time everyone goes their separate ways. Our high school only teach until sophomore year, so some students are going to attend the last two years of high school at another school, some decides to skip for college, some plans to attend it out of state or country and a few are joining the workforce. It will be long before all of us show up at the same place at the same time, so my return was to say hello, but my return is also to say goodbye.

Okay seriously, what's with all of my end notes and sad farewells?

I shall end this work with a text post I read on Tumblr years ago, but have always been stuck to the back of my head and also a major inspiration for this story. I hope it switches up your perspective on things.

"Everyone is perfect just the way they are.

I mean, look at nature. Look at flowers. We never walk into a garden and say "Oh wouldn't that flower be so much prettier if it was taller? Or red instead of pink?" No, we don't.

Because nature was created perfect just as it is, and so are we. We are part of nature, we are how we're meant to be, we're perfect just as we are.

And maybe you don't see people looking at you because you aren't looking at them. Maybe you don't hear all the good things people say about you because you're too focused on the bad.

Maybe you're a lot more wonderful, beautiful, special than you give yourself credits for."

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Twitter | @lillyloulijia
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Email | lillytouthang13@gmail.com

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