TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE
Delilah's P.O.V
BLURRYFACE was officially released yesterday. The music video for Ride was released last week, a few weeks after the video for Stressed Out was uploaded. Tyler and Josh are getting TONS of coverage and have spent the last week on tour in England for their new album.
Jenna has been staying with me for the past couple weeks. She didn't like staying in their apartment alone, and she figured I could use the company.
And today, I really could.
I've just finished getting dressed for the day. I text Ben that I'm leaving to meet him, Mia and my mother at his home. We were going to ride together to the cemetery in Ashtabula.
Today is May 18th, 2015. The 8th anniversary of my father's death.
He was buried in Ashtabula, which is a 3 hour drive from Columbus and primarily consists of Swedish immigrants. He and my mother both grew up there. It's where they met, and got married, before moving to Columbus.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Jenna asks. I have to look at her to make sure she's actually talking to me. She's on the phone with Tyler right now.
"I'm sure." I say, as she hands me her phone. I look at her, confused.
"He wants to say hi."
I take the phone from her, putting it up to my ear.
"Hey, how's tour?"
"It's good. Are you doing okay today?"
"I'm trying."
"That's all I need to hear..." he pauses, "Can we talk, when I come home? We're gonna be back until the end of August."
"Yeah, of course. I'll text you later." I hand Jenna's phone back to her. She kisses me on the cheek before I leave.
That's why I love our friendship.
But what did Tyler mean by "can we talk"?
---------------------x---------------------
The four of us walk up to where we knew my father was buried.
There are three headstones, all flat to the ground. Both of my paternal grandparents', and my father's in the middle.
There's already fresh roses placed above his grave.
"For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.
Psalm 48:14"
My brother reads it aloud. "With love always, Chris and Kelly." Tyler's parents. They were close with my mom and dad since we were kids.
My mom is the first of us to break down. She's done this every year for the past 5 that we've come here together.
Ben falls soon after. He starts by comforting my mom, but ends up falling to his knees and crying along with her. Mia is standing next to him, rubbing his back as he sobs into my mom.
She was questioning if we should have brought Cecilia and Elias, my niece and nephew, with us. Ben protested. He wants to wait until they're old enough to hear stories about their grandfather first.
I wait. For what seems like hours. Until they go back to the car. Then I hit the ground.
I clutch the grass beneath me.
"Pappa...I need to see you again. At night is not enough."
He visits me in my dreams. A lot around this time of year. It's never come close to the times that I was near death and I was literally reaching out for him, but it's him. It's got to be.
Then, I feel a hand place itself on my shoulder.
"Darling, you don't have to wait much longer."
I look up, and there he is. Tall, blonde, and smiling. Just like I remember him.
It's not him, though. I've been through this enough to know that. My father would never tell me to end my life. But it's his image, so I take comfort in that.
"Just come with me. Tonight. When you're alone in your room. I'll wait there for you."
I squeeze my eyes shut. I feel my face become drenched in tears and I end up ripping the grass out of the ground.
"Your brother. He has a family, a wife. You? Have nothing. You have nothing to lose. Join me. Join your unborn child. Don't you want to see his face?"
"GO AWAY!" I scream, and start sobbing.
"Why would you say this?" I hear my mother's voice. I look back above my shoulder, where my father's figure once was. Ben and my mother now stand there.
"How could you say this, right in front of your father's grave?" She storms back to the car, tears in her eyes.
Ben kneels down next to me.
"Are you okay?"
No. I haven't been okay for the past 8 years.
And now I want to die.
---------------------
a/n
Y'ALL ARE GONNA WANT TO FIGHT TYLER IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OMG but the whole thing is gonna be in josh's p.o.v 🤐
YOU ARE READING
demolition lovers // josh dun
Dragoste"I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets." More than 4 years after the events of the previous story, Delilah has now moved on with her life, along with everyone else. She moved to Cincinnati after being released from the rehab center, got a jo...
